The causes of extramarital affairs are many and varied. Some are frivolous, some stem from serious marriage problems and some come from deep psychological problems. It can be unfair to tar all people in an affair with the same brush just as it is not a good idea to approach each affair with the same attitude. To really understand what is going on you need to have a clear view of the cause of an affair so you can have a clear view of how to deal with it; here are X common causes of extramarital affairs to help you out.
1. The Marriage
Most affairs you may think, stem from problems with the marriage but in reality only some of those affairs are directly related to problems of marriage. The framework of a marriage if damaged or neglected can lead to people having affairs, this means when the responsibilities, duties and communication of marriage fall apart while feelings of love can still remain it can feel like it is falling apart and drive people into the arms of another. When we live a life with a partner and share everything there are certain unspoken rules we adhere to but sometimes these break down and we do not fix them, if this is the primary cause of an affair then it is fixable if you can rebuild the structure of your marriage.
2. Self Esteem issues
Some people suffer from terribly low self esteem and what is more worrying is that many put up a facade of confidence and you may not know how deeply this problem cuts. People with low self esteem and confidence often flee problems in a marriage because they cannot handle them, they can also turn to other people for love because they feel unattractive or unloved and seek that out in others rather than working on it with their spouse. This can sometimes be the hardest problem to fix because it is a psychological need of your partner that needs to be cured and if it is not treated can resurface again and again.
3. Love
While all of these issues relate to love in some respect only some of them are directly linked to love as the primary issue with affairs. If a person feels they are not getting enough love at home they will look for it elsewhere. This does not mean you do not actually give them all the love they want, it can mean that your spouse wanted to excitement and passion of the time when you first met which had faded somewhat with marriage and found rekindled in another person. This is a problem with accepting that love changes, while it is important to stoke the fires of passion now and again love does not stay the same and some people cannot accept this.
4. Sex
As much as people want to believe love is a metaphysical thing that transcends the physical most relationships with sex troubles cause issues for men and women alike. Love and marriage is not one aspect but an amalgamation of things and sex is a major part of it. Without desire and passion the rest of a relationship can be poisoned. Misunderstandings about the importance of sex between men and women can break marriages and drive people to an affair. While sex troubles may be caused by other problems in a relationship it is often the most obvious starting point to look at fixing.
I hope this broad overview about the causes of extramarital affairs can help you understand the situation you find yourself in and allow you some measure of control of your relationship!