A while back I read something about a social psychology study which determined that men tend to pursue women who have no real interest in them, while remaining completely oblivious to the women trying to get their attention. Among women, reactions to this news ranged from a total lack of surprise to, “I could have told them that.” So there it is, guys: scientific evidence that when it comes to reading women, we’re getting it all wrong. That’s why I’ve taken the time to do some research and put together a little primer. A men’s guide to reading a woman’s body language. I hope it helps.
Posture
You can tell a lot right off by how a woman is sitting or standing. If she’s leaning forward toward a guy, she’s pretty definitely into him. If she’s leaning away from him she might be trying to keep her distance (bad), or she might be incredibly relaxed and comfortable around him (good). Arms folded across her chest is almost never a good sign. The more her body is angled toward you, the better. If a she’s sitting, she will likely have her legs and her knees angled toward a man she is interested in. She might not even be aware she’s doing it, but it’s something to watch for.
Gesture
In general, slow stroking gestures are good. They indicate she is feeling amorous and sensual. If she is stroking her neck, so much the better! In fact any movement that accentuates her neck is promising. A tilt of the head or a flip of the hair — the neck is a key erogenous zone for a woman, so if she’s presenting it you should take notice. Playful gestures are also good. Twisting her hair, fingering her necklace or her wine glass, these are indications of a flirtatious mood.
Eyes
This is a key point. She might be doing everything I’ve described above, but if she isn’t looking at you, she’s not interested. If she’s flirting she might (and probably will) look away. But at some point she will make meaningful eye contact with the guy she’s after. She has to, a couple times at least to make sure he’s paying attention. So if she’s not giving you a second glance, you should move on.
It’s All in the Subtleties.
I know it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth: you’re not going to learn to read a woman’s body language overnight. There are too many variables. If the woman seems jittery, playing with her jewelry a lot, it could mean that she’s excited, or she’s anxious for an excuse to get out of there. The difference is in the little cues that are impossible to describe, but clear enough once you know what you’re looking for. So you might want to spend a little time as a field anthropologist, watching how women interact with men. Before long you’ll start to pick up on those finer points. Then you’ll be on your way to discovering the secrets of female body language!