“My vagina has become so loose that during sex a penis cannot fill it. For this reason, I feel discomfort in having sex. Tell me what can I do?”
This is an embarrassing issue for many women who have the same concerns, particularly after having several children. A vagina usually loosens because of age or mood. Contrary to common belief, having sex or too much sex or giving birth does not normally loosen the vagina because it is elastic and can revert to its original form after expansion.
It is difficult to know for sure if your vagina is loose because there is no standard tightness or size. Your sexual partner may feel that you are loose down there but another guy does not hold the same view. However, if you have one of the following symptoms, it is an indication that your vagina is becoming loose:
(a) You have trouble holding your urine and experience leaking urine problems especially when you laugh, sneeze or cough
(b) You have to insert larger objects inside you to feel the stimulation
(c) You can insert three or more fingers inside you with little or no resistance
(d) Your vagina does not completely close when you are not aroused
(e) You have difficulty squeezing your vaginal wall against your index finger
(f) You experience greater difficulties in reaching orgasm when you pleasure yourself
(g) You cannot satisfy your partner like you used to
Before you try to tighten your vagina, you should get the facts clear about loose vagina and sex.
(1) Is being tight always a good thing?
For women, being tight is not always a good thing. This actually indicates you are not aroused or not ready for penetration. When a woman is sexually stimulated, her vagina naturally loosens as the cervix pulls up to allow for comfortable penetration. This means you should be looser instead of getting tighter during penetration.
(2) Does active sex life cause your vagina to get loose?
The vagina is a muscular tube with elastic walls. Under normal condition, the vaginal walls touch each other. Your vagina may remain in its aroused state immediately after sex, but it will return to its tight state later. Having sex or the frequency of sex does not reduce the muscle tone of your vagina. On the contrary, sex should increase the muscle tone of your womanhood because this is a form of exercise. Your state of arousal determines the tightness of your vagina.
(3) Do pregnancy and sex cause permanent changes in the vagina?
With its elastic muscular walls, the vagina can change its size to accommodate any object inside it and then return to its original size prior to penetration. Giving birth should not cause much change to the vagina, unless there is some serious tearing after an episiotomy, a surgical procedure in which an incision is made through the perineum to enlarge the vagina during childbirth. As the average size of male sexual organ cannot be as big as a full-term baby, penetration will not loosen the vagina.
(4) Does every man like his sexual partner to be tight down there?
Many women assume men like it tight. But some men may prefer a slightly loose vagina to facilitate harder thrusting and quickie sex. In any case, being tight is not good for you either because it can cause painful sex. Sometimes the problem does not lie with you, it can be due to the below average size of your partner’s sexual organ. The best way to overcome this is after penetration, you can close your legs together to create the gripping sensation against his manhood so as to provide greater friction and pleasure during intercourse.
How To Overcome The Problem Of A Loose Vagina?
Method Number 1: Pelvic muscles-strengthening exercises
You can learn how to do kegel exercises to strengthen your pelvic muscles which can help to increase their elasticity to give you greater sexual pleasure. They can improve your bladder tone so that you do not always leak urine. You can do the kegel exercises at any time and any where you want without anyone noticing and here is how:
(a) When you are lying or sitting down, you contract the muscles that control your urination. You should feel the muscles squeezing your anus and urethra. If you are doing this correctly, your buttocks or stomach should not be feeling tight instead.
(b) You squeeze (or contract) the pelvic muscles for 3 seconds and then relax for another 3 seconds
(c) Repeat the exercise 10 to 15 times per session and do this at least 3 times a day
There is another way:
When you are peeing, you contract your muscles to stop the urine flow for about 3 seconds and then you relax to let the urine flow again. If you want to check whether you are using the right muscles, you insert one finger or two into your vagina and then tighten the muscles. If you feel your fingers being squeezed even slightly, you have located the pelvic muscles correctly.
In order to be effective, you need to do the kegel exercises regularly. You have to be patient because this can take 8 to 10 weeks to feel some noticeable improvement. If you feel you are not doing the exercises correctly, you can consult your doctor who will supplement the exercises with biofeedback that can measure muscle tension and offer quick feedback to track your performance and progress.
Method Number 2: Using vaginal cones or ben wa balls or oak gall
These are weighted devices about the size of tampons that you put inside you to offer some assistance when performing kegel exercises. When using vaginal cones, you start with the lightest cone, insert it into your vagina for about 15 minutes and then squeeze your muscles to hold it in place. You do this for twice a day while you carry on with your activities. After you are able to hold the first cone in place, you can then change into the next heavier one and gradually work your way up to the heaviest. The ben wa balls serve the same purpose in giving you a bit of resistance when doing kegel exercises.
Method Number 3: Using neuromuscular electrical stimulation (NMES)
This method places a probe (that generates electric current) inside the vagina. The electric current stimulates the pelvic muscles causing them to contract and relax. NMES is performed every 1 to 4 days and lasts for 20 minutes in each session. Some health care provides perform these sessions in their offices while others prescribe home units for their patients.
Method Number 4: Using Neocontrol chair
This is a special chair that uses magnetic fields to stimulate pelvic muscles. This is conducted by a nurse or technician in an urologist’s office. Each session lasts for 20 to 30 minutes and is done twice a week for about 8 weeks.
Method Number 5: Surgical/laser treatment
Vaginoplasty is a surgical procedure to restore the muscle tone of the vagina by removing the excess lining of the vaginal wall. The surgeon will also repair soft tissues to decrease the diameter of the vagina.
Laser treatment can also be used to treat structural defects and tighten muscles. This is a fairly bloodless procedure administered with local anesthesia and you can walk immediately after the surgery is over. There will be some mild swelling and light bleeding in the 1st 24 hours after the procedure and this should lessen or disappear within a day or two. Your doctor will probably advise you to abstain from sex, use tampons, or douche for at least 6 weeks.