So you’ve done everything possible to get back together with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, but nothing seems to work. You’ve tried talking to them, reasoning with them, even writing down your thoughts and letting your ex know just how much you love them. And so far, you’ve been ignored and rejected as your ex feels more distant than ever.
Is this your current situation? If so, you’ll need to act pretty quickly if you want to save your relationship. Yet instead of concentrating on how much you want your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend, you need to switch gears by working on ways to get your ex to want you back.
Every couple that’s ever gotten back together has the same thing in common: both partners want and miss each other. So it stands to reason that until your ex misses you, all of your efforts to fix the breakup will be for nothing.
The Counter-Breakup: Rejecting Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend
To win back your ex’s heart, you’ll first need to accept and embrace your breakup. Right now there’s nothing you can do to change your boyfriend or girlfriend’s mind: they’ve already decided to ditch the relationship, so fighting to keep it going will only make you look desperate.
Instead, it’s time to also reject the relationship. Tell your ex that yes, you see where they’re coming from. Yes, you also agree that breaking up is the right thing to do. Even if your breakup already happened, there are ways of contacting your ex for this one brief conversation in which you accept, agree, and align yourself with the idea of being apart. This immediately causes your ex to feel the same rejection that you do, as well as makes them wonder what they could’ve done wrong that you no longer want to be with them.
The Disappearing Act: Dropping Off Your Ex’s Social Radar
Your next move is a simple one, but it’s also the hardest to accomplish – you need to break any and all contact with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. This means you can’t call them, email them, or answer their text-messages. The more of a mystery you can become to your ex, the more they’ll start wondering where you and and who you’ve been hanging out with.
In short, you want your ex to think you’re over the breakup. You want them to think you found a new life of your own. Your ex should be worried that they can’t get you back even if they wanted to… something your boyfriend or girlfriend is unfamiliar with while you’re still hounding or chasing after them. This jars your ex completely out of his or her comfort zone, and forces them to think about you even after the break.
Getting Your Ex To Want You Back by Making Them Miss You
If you’ve accomplished the first two goals, the third one is easy. At this point your ex starts to miss you, mostly because you’re suddenly no longer around. You’re not in plain sight, you’re not within arm’s reach, and you’re not hanging around trying to be friends with your ex in a desperate bid to win them back.
This creates an enormous hole in your ex boyfriend or girlfriend’s life… a hole that used to be filled by you. Your ex will miss all the love, laughter, and fun times you shared together, and will naturally think about having them again. Remember: feelings don’t disappear overnight. Even if your ex seems cold and distant after breaking up with you, there are certain emotional bonds you share that are impossible to break. While you’re still hanging around it’s easy for your ex to ignore or bury these feelings, because they’re comforted by seeing or hearing from you. But once you completely go away? It’s easy for your ex to start feeling lonely and nostalgic about your past relationship, and this is exactly when your ex will contact you in one way or another.