The dictionary lists empathy as being able to identify with and understand another person’s situation, feelings and motive. The state of being selfish, self-absorbed and self-centered indicates concern only with oneself. Lack of empathy and self-centeredness are often deficits of brain injury. These deficits can cause difficulties within the family structure as well as with getting along with friends.
Damage to the frontal lobe can affect feelings of not only empathy but also of lack of compassion. And in most cases there are few feelings of guilt as a result of their behavior. This deficit can alter decisions that most likely would have been handled very differently pre-injury.
My partner has shown this deficit many times – when he has been unable to comprehend my feelings of not wishing him to smoke in the bedroom/ensuite; his inability to see the hurt on the faces of small grandchildren when he has been playing with them and then suddenly becomes angry; and when I asked him if he realized that I had been upset about something he had been planning to do and he answered that he had realized it. ‘And you did it anyway?’ I asked. He answered that he had because he wanted to. These are only a few of the ways that lack of empathy can be shown but there are many. This lack of feeling and caring on behalf of those with brain injuries hurt family members whether it is their spouse, children or grandchildren.
Because empathy depends on seeing yourself as being similar to another person, having a brain injury precludes this ability. They are no longer the same as someone else, even someone with a brain injury since no two brain injuries are alike. Empathy also is the ability to understand another’s perspective and to be able to see and appreciate that the other person’s values and feelings will be different. Having empathy for others includes being onterested in them but many brain injury survivors also have the deficit of being self-centered and self-absorbed so interest in others is difficult. When someone has empathy for another, it shows that they care about the other person’s needs also. This is not the case when someone has the deficit of lack of empathy.
According to my research, it is felt that people can learn to have empathy if they want to make the effort. They can attempt to distinguish their feelings from someone else’s; they can try to see the other person’s perspective about a situation, and they can listen to what someone else is really saying. Although it can be done with effort, for those who have sustained a brain injury, it is a much more difficult task.