“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We’re afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
— Guillaume Apollinaire, 1880-1918
French Poet, Philosopher
Every day, parents and teachers are coaxing children a little closer to the edge, until eventually they are ready to be pushed off. To build enough trust in another person to be willing to come to the edge, even when fearful, is the true foundation of a solid relationship. In the above quote, I think of the fearful responder as the child or apprentice, and the coaxer as the parent or guide.
The idea of guided participation or coaxing, is a foundation of the RDI® program. Each parent is equipped with the ability to guide, encourage, scaffold and eventually “push” their child over the edge into independence. The scenario that is described in the quote is a very common occurrence for the families and children we see on a daily basis in our clinic. The child with an autism spectrum disorder frequently communicates, “I can’t. I’m afraid. I’ll fail.” This may not be communicated verbally, but can be seen in the child’s behavior or demeanor. When parents or teachers are able to provide the right amount of guidance, encouragement and
How do guides help the apprentice prepare for flying solo?
This may take a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or even a few years. Take it slow, and make sure you are building competence along the way. Bring the apprentice to the edge without fear and uncertainty; help them want to fly. This may be one of the best gifts that guides can give: enough