One of the most hurtful things that a married woman can go through is finding out that her husband had an affair. Out of the whirlwind of emotions that you find yourself going through one of the basic things that most women who have been cheated on want to know is that her husband feels remorse for his infidelity. So how do you know if your husband really feels remorse after an affair?
Most men are guarded when it comes to their emotions to begin with so it would be logical to find yourself wondering whether he is really sorry after his affair. Is he is truly sorry or just sorry he got caught? Figuring out what side of the fence that your husband falls on is the first step to deciding whether or not to give him another chance after the affair.
There are many arguments that can be made as to why your marriage deserves a second chance, but I look at it in very simple terms. When infidelity happened in my own marriage, it boiled down to two things. First and foremost, my husband and I still had a tremendous amount of love for each other. Secondly, we both wanted to give our son a fair shot at growing up with both parents in the house. Those two things were more than enough for us to do the work to fix our marriage. Once we got past the initial hurt we were able to get down to the root cause of our problems. That was the key element that saved our marriage.
If you find that you and your husband have a similar reason to try and save your marriage there is still one more thing you need to find out. There are a lot of men out there that get caught up in the chase and conquest of other women. That is just a fact of life. You must find out whether or not your husband is a perpetual “hunter” or if there is an underlying problem that can be addressed and help fixed your marriage.
How Am I Supposed To Know Which Side Of The Fence That My Husband Falls On?
With the exception of maybe his mother, there is no one in the world that knows your husband better than you do. After an affair your spouse can feel like a total stranger but that is the emotional reaction. Even in cases where a woman is severely duped by her spouse that doesn’t mean that she no longer knows anything about the man she married.
Did you suspect something was going on with your husband on any level? If you are able to answer that question honestly I am sure that you will find that on some small level you suspected something was wrong. My honest guess would be that you knew even before you were able to admit it to yourself.
Armed with that information, you can be assured that you can still trust your instincts when in it comes to your husband. You knew what was going on before you just wouldn’t confront it. If you are like me, there is no way that you would turn a blind eye to the warning signs of an affair again. All of that should help you remove all doubt when you ask yourself, “Is he truly sorry for his affair?”
What If I Am Not Convinced He Is Sorry?
One of the biggest sources of unhappiness in relationships in general is expecting your spouse or significant other to be something that they aren’t. People must realize that NO ONE CAN CHANGE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING, just because he or she married you doesn’t mean the he or she is capable of being that man or woman you expect them to be.
If you don’t feel that you husband has any genuine remorse for his affair then it may be best to let him go do what he wants to do because he won’t change until he is ready to change, and as bad as it sounds that may be never.
“I believe in the power of love”, “I am a hopeless romantic.” Those are great things to be in theory but in real life they lead to heart break. The cold hard fact is that you can sit at home and pray to whoever it is that you pray to every day and night, and your husband is still going to be who is he is.
When your spouse has an affair you be one of the most painful and confusing things a married person will ever go through but it doesn’t have to end your marriage. If you and your husband both are willing to do the work, then I know firsthand how a marriage can come out of the adversity stronger and healthier.