You look at yourself in the mirror; your hair is kind of salt and pepper, perhaps balding and you are above 50 years old. You may even have been married before and perhaps a couple of times and you are all single again. You are fed up of the lonely dinners and weekends by yourself and since you are all alone again, you have this urge to date again.
Where do you find your dates? Although, it may not be for a preference for everyone, dating sites are excellent ways to re-enter the dating scene especially if you’re not quite so sociable that you once were.
There is large pool of choices to find your loving and caring partner. However, you have heard about the many bad stories although there are also many successful ones as well.
Here are the do’s and don’ts to look for when you go to the online dating sites.
Do’s
· Make an online profile that sells yourself positively.
· Put up your most recent portrait photograph that is professionally done (it is worth the investment because it will show you really care).
· When you search for appropriate partners, make sure you select those that are most suited to you, do not compromise.
· If you want to choose younger people, make sure you confident to get along with their interest and hobbies.
· If you smoke and drink, make sure you state it clearly. If you do not smoke and drink, make sure you are OK with them, otherwise state it clearly.
· Do not flaunt your wealth; keep it modest otherwise you might attract the wrong people to you.
· Communicate online and only you feel comfortable then you meet up with them. Sense if there is rapport.
Don’ts
· Do not reveal personal details including bank details on your profile.
· Use your discretion to block out the bad eggs; there will always be the good and the ugly.
· Do not appear pessimistic in your chat by giving your opinion about the past.
· Do not let your negative past get the better of you.
Dare yourself to take a calculated risk for your happiness. Get a life and go out there and give your best shot.
One of the most important elements to get the someone special to share your life is to apply “The Law of Detachment”.
Have you ever experienced when you’re trying so desperately to remember something like a telephone number, a person’s name or recall a misplaced item that the harder you try, the more difficult it becomes?
Then, the moment you stop trying or just let it go. It suddenly pops into your head.
This experience is how the Law of Detachment works. This is a law of how as human beings work, without any conscious effort.
Let’s examine your own life history and experiences. If you listed an inventory of when really good things happened to you when you least expect it to happen (For example, you met someone very special, got a really good job, money came in unexpectedly).
Deepak Chopra in his book ‘The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success’ explains, “In order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it.” In other words, you give up your attachment to the result.
A simple formula for practising this law is ‘work the process, focus on the activities, pay attention to the details and let go of the outcome.
Another method of practising detachment is to stop worrying. ‘The Power Of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle says, “Worrying is the projection of negative outcomes into the future, but has no basis in fact or reality.” In other words, worrying is futile; it creates anxiety, wasted time and emotional energy.
Focus in the present moment and concentrate on solutions and believe that every problem has a spiritual solution.
Opposite of Detachment
The opposite of detachment is attachment. Attachment happens when you want to control too much, when you want to force things to happen your way.
Why do people attach
People attach out of fear and insecurity (negative emotions). Attachment is worrying about falling into the “what if”, “What if this” or ‘what if that” happens… It will drive you crazy.
Think about this; the more you attach or let the negative emotions stay dominant, you become unhappy. Unhappy people are certainly not attractive.
Dating with Detachment
To apply the Law of Detachment to the dating situation is to let go of expectations in every step of the dating process.
Adopt this attitude when you go to an online dating site or a social function, tell yourself, “I let go of all expectations and let go and let god”.
In addition, when you have an enjoyable date do not project into the future and worry about how subsequent dates will work out. Keep an open mind and let things happen and know that whatever the outcome is for the best for all concern.
In dating, the payoff of practising detachment is that you will be happier in general, and happy people attract happy people.
Detachment and Hypnosis
The most effective and efficient method for practising the law of detachment is hypnotherapy.
The hypnotherapist work with client to detached to the specific situation of the client. Once the detachment strategy is in place, the hypnotherapist then helps the client use their mind power to create the new detachment behaviour, replacing the old, less functional, attachment behaviour.
The client then experiences less stress and anxiety to live in the ‘here and now’.