We all want and need a fulfilling relationship to give our lives a sense of meaning, worth and happiness. The problem is, how do you find a fulfilling relationship? It is reliably easy to form a relationship with someone, but just because you have a relationship it does not mean that it is the right one for you, or that that will in any way be fulfilling.
Before you start looking at getting into a relationship you need to take a long hard look at yourself. Why do you want to be in a relationship, how confident are you in yourself, are you happy in life, who are you looking for, what do you want from a relationship and what can you bring to it. Given the consumer driven, stress riven world that we live in it is probably not surprising that there are many people who feel unhappy about their lives, and have the mistaken belief that being with someone will plug that void and all will be well. There is only one person responsible for your personal happiness and that is you, if you expect your partner to shoulder the responsibility then you will have a miserable relationship which will end. If you are unable to change then this attitude will haunt you and poison all your relationships.
If you want to find happiness and a fulfilling relationship then you need to be happy in yourself. You are a unique individual, there is no-one else like you and no matter grim your life there will be some positives in you, find those positives and use them as a foundation to grow. As you grow then so does your confidence and self-esteem. If you feel and act confident and positive your body language will reflect this. To find someone that you will hopefully spend the rest of your days with, you need the confidence to go up and talk to people who attract you, your knees may be quaking, you might be awash with adrenalin, but so long as you think confident And look confident then you will come across somebody worth spending some time with.
Always be yourself. Resist the temptation to create a facade in the hopes that it will bring you happiness .. If someone falls in love with your face then you are not falling in love with you but this alter ego that you created. Your relationship will have started on a lie. If the alter ego that you create is fairly close to who you are then you should not have any problems. On the other hand if you and your alter ego are worlds apart then how good are you at living a lie, because until you are caught out that is what you will be doing.
If you are looking for romance then you need to do more than just go to work and watch the TV Develop a range of different interests so that you can meet different people, and have people see you in a wide area as is realistically possible. You just never know where and when you will meet that special someone, as they might not live in your neighborhood then spread the search.
Before you commit too closely to someone make sure you know who they are. Learn about their hopes and dreams, their wants and needs, their emotions, what motivates them, how compatible are they and what expectations they have for the relationship. Make sure that they can offer you what you need from a relationship and that you can offer them what they need. It is better to find out that you are not really suited to each other early rather when it is more difficult to break up.
Make sure that you are going into the relationship for the right reasons. For both of you it should be that you both want to spend the rest of your days together, if there is any other reason then do not do it. The classic do not do it reason is fear of being alone where any relationship is better than being alone. When a persons insecurities makes their relationships for them it is not a healthy relationship, someone in that position can end up giving up so much of their own needs in favor of their partners, that they lose their identity and pretty much surrender their life to meet Their partners needs. In a healthy, fulfilling relationship, you are both equals with equal responsibility for making the relationship work. Any relationship where one partner is dominant is not a healthy one and should be avoided.
From a very early age we have all be indoctrinated to that classic story ending, and they all lived happily ever after … Books are full of these stories as is the TV and movies. You are probably aware of this, but I will say it any way, real life is not like movies. It is not impossible to create a happy ever after ending, but you will have to work at it. It may be hard to believe but even star crossed lovers have to work at making the relationship strong … now how about that for a Hollywood epic.
At some points of your relationship, what you want and need is going to clash with what your partner wants and needs. This is normal, you are both individuals and not clones of each other. The fact that there is conflict is not such a big thing, it is how you deal with that conflict that will either make or break you.
If you want to find a fulfilling relationship you have to be yourself and confident in who you are, if you keep focusing on what is positive and building your confidence, then your body language will do a great job of advertising you as a possible mate. Be happy and enjoy life. Let your potential partner know the real you. When you find someone make sure that you are getting together for the right reason, physical attraction or desperation are not good reason and will not make for a fulfilling relationship, there is more to a relationship than that. Get to know who they are before you start to build a bond with them so that you know that they are right for you and you are right for them. Regardless of the problems that you face keep working at the relationship, it might be hard going at times but the reward makes it more than worthwhile.