Only very lucky couples escape the decline of sexual desire in a long-term relationship. Most couples, however, find that desire fades naturally as they become more familiar with one another. And while they might feel like good friends, a buddy is not what they had in mind when they started having sex.
What about you and your partner? Are you stuck in a sexual rut? Know you love each other but find sex a drag? Even if you accept fading passion as normal, you are both probably wondering just what to do. From the behind the office door of a sex therapist, here are five ways to pump up passion and pleasure.
First, admit that there's something about your sex life that you would like to make better. Do not fight about it, because when desire fades, it's nobody's fault. It's a matter of grey matter – once the first chemical bath of love chemicals has drained out of the brain, we move onto other parts of survival, like doing the dishes and raking the leaves.
Second, see this as an amazing opportunity to explore your sexuality even further with a person whom you trust. Every time you hop into bed with your partner, do it with the attitude of adventure. What are you going to learn about each other's bodies today? How much pleasure can you experience? How much can you take?
Third, when you make love, slow way down. Going slow lets you really communicate your loving feelings, and to experience them in return. Let your hand, your index finger, your thumb, your tongue act as an extension of your heart. Send sexy energy all through your lover's body.
Fourth, make love frequently. The more often you make love, the more often you will want to make love. Do not allow long periods of time to go by without having sex. Women, especially, seem to find that they become like desert camels, going for weeks and weeks without sex. Frequent sex allows you to connect, pumps up those love chemicals, and helps you keep the sweetness in your relationship.
Finally, remember that every day counts as foreplay for the next time you make love. If you give each other compliments, hugs, kisses, and backrubs instead of piles of chores, tasks, and criticisms, you'll find yourselves more eager to get into bed at the end of a day, no matter how long and tiring. Sex can revive not only your love, but your body, mind, and spirit.
Try putting even one of these steps into practice and see how it revives sexual passion in your relationship. Remember, the love is still there, you just have to fan the flames.