Have you been doing everything in your power to try to get your ex boyfriend back? Have you tried being really nice to him and even attempted to change some of the things that he complained about when he broke up with you? Have you been wracking your brain trying to figure him out and convince him to come back to you?
Your problem might be easier solved if you started thinking like a guy instead of thinking logically of how to get your ex back. Right now your boyfriend is in a very emotional state and depending upon what you have been doing to try to get him back you may be further complicating the issue and actually making it more difficult to get him back than is necessary.
You see, guys are pretty simplistic creatures and they are motivated by two things. Their first instinct is to seek out pleasure and their second instinct is to avoid pain. While all human beings have these same instincts a man isn’t overly aware of the stimulus that causes him to make decisions and react in sometimes peculiar ways.
Seeking Pleasure – You might be thinking with your mind in the gutter a little bit but if you’re ex boyfriend is a guy he is probably like most guys in his desire for as much pleasure as he can pack into his life.
Now you should be asking yourself if you are providing him with anything that might be pleasurable these days. When you do talk with him are the conversations pleasurable or are they painful? Is he happy to hear from you or does he seem annoyed? The topics that you discuss, are they fun to talk about or are they painful and boring? If you have been trying to talk about what went wrong in your relationship or how you think you can fix things then this is painful to a guy and not in the least pleasurable.
Avoiding Pain – This brings us to the second very simplistic thing that motivates men. A guy would rather sit through a root canal without Novocain than talk about all the unpleasant things that went on in your relationship. This is one of the main reasons why he might not want to talk to you and may be avoiding your phone calls and text messages.
While you might be thinking that resolving the issues in your relationship and getting back to the good parts of being together might be motivation enough for him to want to work through your problems, he doesn’t see it this way. All he knows is that it is annoying and painful to have to sit through talking about feelings and emotions. In his mind it would be easier just to get another girlfriend than have to deal with all of that and this is probably what he will wind up doing unless you can do a little damage control and get on the right track.
Damage Control – If you have been pushing the relationship down his throat and wanting to talk about getting back together you have indeed been doing damage to your chances of getting him back. You have probably successfully turned him off and maybe even given him reason to believe that he did the right thing by breaking up with you.
All hope is not lost though. It may take some doing but it is not just possible but probable that you can get him back and undo the damage in short order if you know what to do. Given a little time, a good plan and the ability to use your new found knowledge of what motivates your man you can reverse what has been done and get him back.
The first step though is to back off a bit and regroup. Take a serious look at what you have been doing to try to get him back and come up with a game plan. Take some time to rebuild your confidence and go into this fully armed and ready to knock his socks off the next time you see him. Anything less will avail you nothing but a continuation of what you have been getting and his further resolve to move on with his life and find another woman that can make him happy.