Ever have that sinking feeling where do you feel the pit of your stomach go right through your feet? Just like you're riding a rocket fueled elevator. For me that ride is just like the ride you get when your love says "I'm leaving!" You know it was a silly argument. You probably know in the scheme of things it was petty and absurd. But for your own vanity, you could not let it go.
Probably starting off with a disagreement of what you feel like eating tonight. Then it just gets worse. Suddenly before you know it you are in a full blown argument. Like a mutt shaking a bone though one off you will let it go. Names are called. Escalating until someone touches on that open wound. Maybe you did not know it but suddenly you have hit "pay dirt!" Then you think about the conversation, "Why did I say that!"
Then the awful realization cold seconds from the refrigerator is probably the best thing on tonight's menu. That is if you can eat at all. You hear the car revving in the drive, a squeal of tires, look outside see a cloud of smoke and smell burning rubber and faster than you can say 'sorry!' the love of your life is gone. The realization still has not sunk in as you are still in battle mode. Then slowly you start to cool down. You know they have to come back sooner or later. But they do not.
Then the phone rings. You answer it, but suddenly instead of being sorry either you or you lover are at it again. A series of calls, texts and sudden silence. A long cold silence. They are gone. Sometimes forever.
At this point, you probably are feeling like the cold turkey in the fridge after Thanksgiving. Plucked and torn to pieces. Then the realization of what you had. That special smile only for you. Those beautiful eyes. The kissable lips. Those many warm loving nights together. Then nothing! Gone! All alone. Suddenly the first fat tear escapes your eye, running slowly down your cheek. Then the flood gates open. Poor me!
Despite the urge to text and call every 5 minutes, this really is not the best time. More often than not even though you may be cool and regretful, your love may still be hurting. This is just not a tiff, but you know the other party has given you notice. The emotional no longer required pay slip. In this situation there is a myriad of emotions, of loss, of guilt, of hurt and anger.
The last thing you want to do is trigger a Nuclear Winter. Go slowly and think how you would like to be treated. Perhaps you may be at fault. Perhaps even you have really done something wrong. If you have you can still salvage the situation. But be warned. A text, an email or a phone call may not cut the mustard. If you are the guilty party leave it a few days. Write a short unreserved apology. "Dear ….. I am truly sorry for hurting your feelings. I feel very bad about what happened realizing it was my fault. Your love … etc. " Send this letter by mail. Give it a day or so, if you hear nothing then a quick phone call, just asking how they are. Whatever you do not start or become involved in another fight. Keep it light. Ask if they want to meet over a coffee or whatever it is that is appealing to them.