How to Tell the Difference Between Friendly and Friendship

Is Being Friendly A Requirement Of Friendship?

In today’s world of false impressions how can we tell who is a friend and who is just being friendly? Sometime it’s difficult to recognize the difference between someone who is sharing your life or someone who is enhancing it. There is a big gap between a person who is cordial and passing and a person who has become part of your life’s experience.

Friendly people are better accepted

Being friendly is an outward projection of an inner quality which wishes to keep the surrounding environment calm and enjoyable. Being friendly is also a plea for acceptance. When greeting a person, being friendly is in the hopes the other person will accept him/her and be friendly in return. It’s the old, “do as I do” standard.

Fear keeps people from being friendly

While most people want to behave in a friendly manner some may have a fear of approaching people. They may appear to be unfriendly while inside they really want to be sociable. I used to enjoy catching people on an elevator. Most look at their feet and keep silent but with very little effort I was able to get them looking up and talking. People want to be friendly but are afraid of offending or getting into a conflict with someone so they tend to keep silent and disconnected.

Even crabby people want to be friendly

Those people who appear to be crabby or don’t want to engage in conversation usually have an underlain reason for doing so. Some event in their lives, recent or distant, prevent them from showing their emotions and they draw inside for protection. They don’t realize distance is met with distance. If a person is unfriendly the people he/she comes into contact with will also be unfriendly.

Friendships go beyond being friendly

It’s true that a friendly person is a welcomed person but a smile in passing does not make a friendship. Friends are acquaintances like being a member of the same club, church school, etc. but most likely this type of contact will never develop into a friendship. The reason being, the common bond is in the membership not the heart. A friendship can develop through an association such as military or a project and carry on outside the boundaries of its creation. This type of friendship is usually a drawing together of the participants through pressures brought about from the common experience.

There are rules in every friendship

There are certain rules in the makeup of a friendship which are demanding and create a bonding familiarity. A friendship is like a marriage, people enter into it with all the emotions of a union. The term, “tell death do us part” applies in a true friendship. A bonding of souls, minds and character become the foundation for a true and everlasting friendship while being friendly is simply an act of pleasantness.

Sometimes friends can be unfriendly

Friendships are not necessarily friendly all the time because demands of honesty can challenge the exchange. In this context, a difference in perceptions and agreement can cause friction in the relationship which may challenge it but cannot fracture it beyond repair. Friendship endure and over time grow more intense with devotion.

It’s hard to be friendly in an unsociable world

While people must endure within a society that forces the pressures of demanding rules upon them, they can still find solace in the intimacy of a warm friendship. Friendships are like an old pair of shoes, “they get more comfortable and favorable over time”. When a person questions their own abilities and achievements, they can always turn to a friend for an honest appraisal.

Keep outside forces at bay.

If an outside force threatens to destroy the relationship step back and value the essence of the union. Remember how the friendship came about and why it has endured. Good friendships carry a proven track record for warding off dissidence because the parties involved trust and respect one another. Because of the commitment factor, conflict cannot be used to dominate or disrupt a friendship.

Never let a good friend down.

If you are fortunate enough to have true friends, cherish the experience for it is why we live. To experience a friendship is to realize our true nature, our essence and reason for being. It is within our relationship that our self emerges and becomes a model of self reality.

Happy Trails