How to Use Movies to Break Free From Emotional Black Holes(tm)

Emotional Black Holes (EBHs) are certain negative emotional states that drain vital energy and trigger destructive thoughts and actions against yourself and others. Their result is always catastrophic for your goals, aspirations and dreams. In this article you will learn:

1. How to recognize the EBH that sabotages your actions.

2. How to break free from an EBH and pursue your dreams.

3. How to use lessons from movies to avoid an EBH.

There are 8 Black Holes in Our Emotional Universe

Our 8 EBHs are: Apathy, Anger, Envy, Fear, Guilt, Greed, Hatred, and Shame.

We cannot avoid falling into an EBH. It happens again and again, as part of our human journey of self-discovery. The only positive element about an EBH is that we can remember its destructive influence on our life, so we can avoid falling into it the next time.

In order to break free from EBHs, you must learn to name them, recognize their destructive effects, take responsibility for falling in them, and take specific actions to move away from them. The following Quiz will help you identify your EBH.

1. Identify Your Emotional Black Hole: A Quiz

Read the following ten statements and note if they are apply to you or not. Give each TRUE answer one point and give each FALSE answer a zero point.

TRUE = 1

FALSE= 0

1. I often avoid mentioning or telling the truth about certain parts of my life.

2. I procrastinate a lot and it’s hard for me to finish a project.

3. Every so often my way of handling anger sabotages my efforts to reach my goals.

4. I have noticed that every time I am very close to success, something happens and things fall apart.

5. I often feel that if one of these things about me were different, I would be a much happier person: (check one or more)

o my family

o my race

o my gender

o my physical appearance

o my nationality

6. I often feel used and unappreciated; people should feel very guilty for the way they treat me.

7. I am not optimistic about the future. In fact, I worry a lot about what will happen to me.

8. I am very critical of myself.

9. I have a hard time feeling content with my life; I always want more and it’s never enough.

10. I don’t want what I have in my life; I envy other people’s lives and I want they have.

Check your score: the higher it is, the more important it is that you begin taking steps to get free from the EBH that keeps you stuck and drains your energy. Take the first step now: name your biggest EBH.

2. How to Break Free From an Emotional Black Hole

Breaking free from the destructive pull of an EBH takes consistent practice. In my book Reel Fulfillment: A 12-Step Plan for Transforming Your Life through Movies, there are special worksheets that help you break free from an EBH and the destructive patterns it activates.

The first step to breaking free from an EBH is to name it. What is your biggest EBH? Name it. How does it affect your thoughts and actions? Write down those negative thoughts and actions down. They are the self-sabotaging pattern you must correct in order to achieve your dreams and goals.

Here is an example: Your dream is to achieve financial freedom but your financial reality is dismal. This is because FEAR paralyzes you every time you must address your finances, which creates a poor relationship with your money and an even poorer bank account. In order for you to break free from FEAR, you must act against the paralysis it causes, by taking baby steps:

begin opening your bank statements; cut up your credit cards; take a money-management class, and so on. Take those steps IN SPITE OF Fear. Don’t expect the Fear to go away. EBHs won’t move out of your emotional universe; YOU WILL MOVE AWAY OF THEM, through conscious and persistent actions.

Here are five things you can do to move away from an EBH when you recognize its destructive grip on your thoughts and actions:

1. Use Physical Activity: take a kickboxing class, do power walk or go swimming.

2. Play Video Games that channel your anger into inanimate objects.

3. Use Creativity: cook, use clay, work on your home, work on your garden.

4. Play: Diffuse the destructive energy through play. Use board games or play with animals.

5. Use prayer and meditation: Developing spiritual fitness is the fast track to freedom from the energy of Emotional Black Holes.

3. What Movies Can Teach You about Emotional Black Holes

From the following list, watch as many movies as you can. It is strongly recommended that you read about them prior to watching. They may contain graphic scenes of violence, nudity and/or strong language.

After watching a movie, answer the questions that follow:

o House of Sand and Fog (2003); directed by Vadim Perelma

o Falling Down (1994); directed by Joel Schumacher

o My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997); directed by P.J. Hogan

o The Man Who Would Be King (1975); directed by John Huston

o Fearless (1993); directed by Peter Weir

o American History X (1998); directed by Tony Kaye

Questions to Answer:

1. What EBH compromises the character’s life and sets off self-sabotaging patterns?

2. What triggers the negative emotional energy to start its destructive effect?

3. How does the character respond to the pull of the EBH?

4. As the story develops, how does negative emotional energy spread? Which words, actions, thoughts, random events or conscious decisions propel it? Who is affected by it and how?

5. Are there any moments in the story when the characters break free from EBH? What does it take for them to achieve that?