Once upon a time long … long ago a young man would meet with the father of his prospective date on the front porch of her home. He'd ask the father's permission for the pleasure of her company each evening before taking her out. When, where and an appropriate return time, was discussed at length and agreed upon. No, let me rephrase that statement. The father would instruct the boy about his expectations and requirements. There was no discussion. The dates then where usually innocent enough. They were surrounded by a sodas, burgers, fries and or maybe just a shake at the local juke shop. These outings might be followed by a movie with the return home of the youthful flower to her respective abode. The couple might have been spent talking of school and the coming summer vacation on the front porch while under watchful eyes, threw strategically cracked drapes. As then, and perhaps even now, the date ended with the rhythmic flicking of the porch light that signaled a parental conclusion. A quick, innocent peck placed on the cheek of the responsible lad was followed by a hasty retreat of the young lady.
OK I probably went way too far back for some of you. But no doubt, you have seen this in a black and white movie or heard tale of it from an elder family member. Either way, modern dating has undergone tremendous change since your parents 'day – for that matter, your grandparents' courting years. The 60's ushered in the sexual revolution, the pill, and-FREE LOVE. Since the aprons came off and women were not tied to having children the traditional date has not been the same. Saving one's virtue for their honeymoon faded away, now relegated to movies and fairy tails. Let's face it. The best thing parents can do is educate their children and pray for the best. We've been made painfully aware that modern teens seldom graduate from their high school with an intact virtue. Today young people, joined by a growing number of adults, turn to the internet in hope of finding romance and meeting Mr. or Ms Right. Services range from free and often suspicious to hundreds, even thousands of dollars in service fees. Prior to the advent of the internet, people met, talked and discovered what brought them together or set them apart as individuals. Now services have you post pictures, create personal bio's and specify preferences such as eye color, weight, height, economic status, even which race you wish to engage socially. Introductions are initiated via e-mail, a "flirt", or a series of one liner comment methods.
With all of the technology at one's disposal you'd think dating would be that much less complicated. The answer: "WRONG!" Not only do dangers exist in the form of internet predators but scammers, both male and female, look for easy marks in the lonely hearts club. Their interest is to separate the unsuspecting from their purse or bank account. They create profiles that contain quality pictures, but little about themselves. They will claim to be local but soon write of some personal tragedy involving Nigeria or other in Africa or Russia. They are professional cons whose sole objective is to take your hard earned paycheck, life savings and threaten you …
The following is a composition of do and don'ts list comprised out of recent trends in the internet dating world. We are very far from the days of sipping soda and parental guidance .. The list below is meant as a source guide to the dating community. After suffering my own failures, due to little knowledge of the internet dating jungle, I urge you to read it and arm yourself. Your search will be more successful and you'll be armed with information that can help you avoid financial and sexual predators.
1.) You should never release personal banking information, SSN # or any type of financial information to an individual over the phone, internet or through another person who may coerce you to do so. For any pay services on the internet you will be asked for credit card or debit card information at a purchase. However, do insure that the site is secure and is well established and reputable. Check the Better Business Bureau, Consumer Affairs and internet reviews of the site you're choosing. Never give out your bank routing number or your bank account number for pay sites. If you want to verify a site and protect yourself against fraudulent charges set up an account through Pay Pal. At the end of this article there is a list of free sites as well as pay sites to which you can subscribe for internet meet-ups.
2.) Never schedule to meet anyone, regardless of their phone demeanor, for the first few times in a place that is not public where there are other people around. A person can sound nice over the phone and be charming but you have no defense against a predator when you are alone and there's no back-up. Insist upon this and do not compromise, especially women. Men, being male does not mean that you are safe.
3.) If a person focuses on sex either in jest or more seriously simply hang up! Also use phone numbers that have a block service. Usually cells are best as home numbers are easily traced to home addresses.
4.) Be honest in your profile and straight forward about who you are as a person and what you're looking for. If you make as far as meeting a person you'll be found out. Besides, you're wasting your time as well as the other persons if you're deceptive. It leads to heart break. Be original in your profile and thorough about yourself.
5.) Also be original in your profile and thorough about yourself and what you're looking for in addition to explaining what you're looking for.
6.) Stay away from negative subjects on the net and in person. You're attempting to attract Mr. or Ms Right. You do not want to scare them off before you have a chance to find out about them.
7.) If a service offers background checks you may opt for this but do it early before you invest yourself and your time. Heartbreak can be overcome in time, but the monetary expense of serious dating drains your coffer and limits your prospects to move on.
8.) This may sound out of the norm but pay attention to how the person speaks and uses grammar. What idioms do they use? This is a quick way to find out if you are compatible intellectually and a gage for honesty.
9.) As hard as it can be, allow plenty of opportunity for them to talk as much as possible. Do not dominate the conversation. The best way to get to know a person is listen not talk. You'll be able to determine a lot more about them, their if you are silent and attentive.
10.) Lastly, read steps 1-9 and do your research on internet dating as well as into the person you choose to spend your time with.
Free Sites: OK Cupid, MySpace, Plentyoffish, Tagged
Pay Sites: EHarmony, Match.com