My Boyfriend Wants To See Other People – What Should I Do?

“I think we should take some time apart, and maybe see other people…”

Those words probably hit you like a ton of bricks. You thought everything was good – you thought he was happy – and then suddenly your boyfriend tells you he’d like to start ‘seeing’ someone else.

What does it mean? Is he breaking up with you? Is your relationship finally over?

Well, not quite yet. Yes, this is definitely a bad situation. Your soon-to-be ex is unhappy with certain aspects of the relationship, and/or has some other girl already in mind. He’s looking to see if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and he’s already halfway over that fence by the time he makes this announcement.

At the same time however, it’s a good sign that your boyfriend didn’t outright break up with you. His suggestion to see other people could be his way of asking for a trial separation, where he gets to see whether or not he’d like to be with someone other than you. In the meantime, your boyfriend ideally wants you to do one thing: stay put. He knows you still love him and don’t have anyone else in mind, so this gives him a small window of opportunity to go out and do his thing… while maintaining the option to always get back together with you if it doesn’t work out for him.

Maintaining Control Over Your Relationship

You’ve really only got two options here. Your first instinct will be to tell him NO… to fight any potential breakup and try and convince your boyfriend to stay together with you. You’ll be so terrified that he’ll like this new girl better that you might be willing to do or say anything to keep your romance going. This includes begging, pleading, or promising ‘to change’ for him.

All of the above actions will put you in a very weak position. You’re tipping your hand – letting him know that you need him a LOT more than he needs you. Essentially, you’re surrendering total control over what happens next. Your boyfriend will rapidly lose respect for you, knowing that you’ll probably be willing to hang around and wait for him even if he does decide to see a new girlfriend.

How To Handle It When Your Boyfriend Wants to See Someone Else

The best thing for you to do here is seize control, walk (temporarily) away, and shove your boyfriend completely out of his comfort zone. This is where you need to be strong, by telling your man that he’s right… you BOTH should start seeing other people… and that you wish him the best of luck. That’s it – no more words – and then you walk away.

As you leave this scenario your boyfriend’s jaw will be pretty much on the floor. Agreeing with the breakup is the last thing he expected. And the idea of you seeing other guys? This isn’t something he thought about or prepared for. Thinking about you with someone else is going to make him uneasy and very uncomfortable.

To sum it up, you want your boyfriend to realize that you won’t be there if he decides to come back. You’re taking away his safety net, and you’re forcing him to fly blind if he wants to pursue any new love interest. In this type of scenario, your boyfriend might not break up with you at all. The pros of staying together might outweigh the cons of potentially losing you, and this will influence him a lot more than you think.

Getting Your Boyfriend Back If You’re on a Break

Now if you’re already on a break, or your boyfriend is already seeing someone else? There are still ways to get him back, as long as you’re willing to be patient and play it cool. Learning which methods and techniques are best for getting your ex to want you again is absolutely crucial, and having a step-by-step plan is necessary so that you know what to do.