The lack of effective communication between men and women in relationships is a leading cause of breakups and divorces. If you’ve ever tried to talk to your man about an important issue in your relationship or tried to express your feelings, you know just how difficult it can be to get through to him.
Usually it ends in an argument and problems never get solved. Eventually, without effective communication, seemingly small problems turn into big problems that can kill the relationship.
The problem is men only know how to communicate as men and women only know how to communicate as women. And the two are very different. This article offers 3 tips for more effective communication with your man. Use these tips to your advantage and you can enjoy happier, more fulfilling relationships while making any man feel like you truly understand him.
3 Tips For More Effective Communication With Men
- Finding The Right Time To Talk
First, it’s important to find the right time to talk to your man. Try to catch him at a time when he’s not busy or focused on other things. Most men can’t multi-task like women can. They have to put their attention on one thing at a time. If you try to interrupt him during his favorite tv show or when he’s watching sports with his buddies, he’ll immediately tune you out and won’t be open to hearing what you have to say.
Also, never start your conversation by telling your man, “We need to talk.” This phrase instantly strikes fear into men and will immediately put your man on the defensive, making him feel like he’s done something wrong.
- Use “We” And “I” Instead Of “You”
When you want to explain your feelings to your man, use the words “we” and “I” instead of “you”. The word “you” will make him defensive because it insinuates blame. For example:
Don’t say: “You’re never home and you never spend time with me and the kids.”
Do say: “The kids and I miss you when you’re not here. We love spending time with you. We were hoping we could all do something fun this weekend.”
- Don’t Generalize With Definitive Words
Try not to use the words “never” and “always”. These are very definitive words and are too generalized to be effective when trying to communicate with your man. They discount the things he does for you and will make him feel like he can’t do anything right…ever.
These types of words will make him put up an emotional barrier that can be extremely difficult to break down. If you’re upset about a particular incident, then be specific so your man knows exactly what you’re talking about. For example:
Don’t say: “You never help me around the house!”
This type of statement nullifies every time he’s taken out the garbage, changed the oil in your car, fixed something that was broken, etc. Instead…
Do say: “I could really use some more help around the house. It makes me feel so amazing when you help me like you did yesterday when you took out the garbage and emptied the dishwasher.”