It is more likely the reason that you got your wife pregnant in the first place, and now that she is, remember that making love with her is going to be a lot more different! So here is a very helpful reminder: ALWAYS PROCEED WITH CAUTION AND SENSITIVITY!
How do I even begin?
Your pregnant wife may be unusually touchy these days, but from the time of conception and usually up to 12 weeks of being pregnant, your wife may be very queasy when it comes to making love. She may give you numerous excuses like being too tired, or hungry, or nauseated, or dizzy, or just simply: “not in the mood”. But never take it personally though, remember that her hormones are making her that way, it is not because she doesn’t love you anymore. So given that fact: it will be always wise to open lines of communication before you even attempt at romance. Be more sensitive of your wife’s needs outside the bedroom, and soon enough, she will reciprocate with yours.
Is it safe? When?
Making love when you are expecting can have numerous benefits for you and your partner – fortunately though, you both can take the most advantage of this all throughout the pregnancy. Doctors say that you can have some action in the bedroom up until her water breaks! As soon as you get your Doctor’s “go” signal for love-making, then by all means go ahead! But of course, it would always be wise to follow your wife’s behavior before attempting at romance. Take note of how she responds when you make your attempts. And always bear in mind that until she is way past her first trimester, she maybe unresponsive to your attempts but of course, her conditions are mainly to blame: She maybe too nauseated, or too tired for it, but not to worry though, because she’ll be right back on track as she progresses in the pregnancy.
What if it is not safe?
While many Doctors and health practitioners are not against having couples sex during pregnancy, it is always best to open lines of communication not only with your wife but also with your Doctor as well. Again, it is wise to pay attention, listen, and take down notes most especially during Doctor’s appointments (or couples’ therapy sessions, if you are attending them). It is very important most especially for first time dads-to-be to know if there would be any restrictions during certain times, or if it would be totally restricted for the entire nine-month journey. Your wife’s conditions such as having an incompetent cervix (a condition known as placenta previa), vaginal bleeding, or if she is having signs of pre-term labor, it would be best to “steer clear” of love-making. But do not fret! Your Doctor or health practitioner may place these restrictions for the safety of your wife and baby, but you and your wife just need to be very open in terms of communication to be able to find ways to address the intimacy you want and need. Again, communication is always the key.
But what if I hurt the baby?
This is a FACT: YOU WON’T. Remember that your wife’s body is keeping your baby well-cushioned and protected with lots of layers of flesh and plenty of fluids to swim in too! As you and your wife “get it on with”, your baby will stay safe and rest peacefully inside his little bag of amniotic fluid despite all the action from the outside world: and yes, penetration included. And for the record (and yes, every gynecologist will confirm this): there exists a mucus plug that is separates your baby from all the elements of the outside world, including semen and any other infectious organisms too! So if your wife gives you the ‘go’ signal from her end, then go for it! But of course, keep in mind any advice your Doctor will give you. Also, be attentive of how your wife is coping: if she is expressing pain, or if it is making any one of you feel uncomfortable, it would be best to just stick to the old-fashioned, G-rated ways (like cuddling and holding hands!).
What positions will work?
Now that we have established clarifications regarding the nitty-gritty on the down and naughty, here we will provide helpful tips on the love-making! Many couples (especially first-time moms and dads-to-be) are concerned about what positions will work, especially with your wife’s ever growing belly, but in reality, these physical limitations will do nothing but test your creativity on modifying what will actually work, and who knows – you may even find out that some “pregnant positions” are worth keeping even until after your baby’s birth (if you will both have remaining energy for it)!
“Man-on-top” – This classical “missionary-style” position is, in my opinion, the most caring to your wife’s condition: because it keeps your wife in a laying down position, and frees her back from the unnecessary burden of worrying about supporting her belly (especially in the later months, when her belly is much bigger). To make her comfortable, you may want to suggest that she prop some pillows under her back, and also, make sure to keep your weight off her by propping yourself up with your arms.
“The Mattress Hold” – This variation of going down on all fours saves your wife the burden of having to support her belly (and pretty much, the rest of her own weight) with her arms. In this position, she keeps her head and and arms on the mattress, and have you enter from behind.
“Side-lying positions” – This laying-on-your-sides, be it front-to-front, or back-to-front (spooning) positions are mentioned my numerous couples as the best for pregnancy for mainly two reasons: one, that it keeps you off your backs, so you don’t have to worry about being able to support your belly, and two, it keeps you in a very relaxed position, making you achieve intimacy in a slow and sensual way. Win-win!
“The Scissor-legs” – This position is recommended for optimal pleasure. Have your wife lay on her side, with you on the opposite side, facing the opposite direction as well.
“Woman-on-top” – This very popular “cowgirl” position is great because it practically places no pressure on your wife’s ever growing belly. However you must both bear in mind that in the last few months of the pregnancy (when her belly is at its biggest), she may have trouble maneuvering this position, and it would be best if she sits facing the opposite direction.
“On the couch” – This slightly modern twist on the classic woman-on-top position requires that you sit up (on the couch, or the edge of the bed) while your wife sits facing on top of you. You then support her hips as she angles herself down towards you. You may be tempted to play with her breasts though, so be sure to ask if it doesn’t hurt to touch.
What positions should we avoid?
Love-making in the latter parts of this wonderful journey can prove to be so much of a challenge, as well as be frustrating because of your wife’s ever blossoming belly. As a general precaution, it is always best to be open to communicating with your partner first before even trying out different positions, as certain positions can be difficult and can be painful not only to your partner, but to you as well.
“The Floor Triangle” – This position, where your partner stands with her legs wide open, and reaches down to the floor with her hands with you entering her from behind can prove to be a very painful experience. Not only are you putting unnecessary strain on her arms (she needs to support her own weight and her belly as well) and back, you are also putting her at risk for some mood-wrecking bouts of nausea.
“The Lazy-Man’s Cart” – This position, where you are comfortably seated while your pregnant wife does the painful task of supporting herself (and her belly) is a big no-no. Yes, you may feel pleasurable with this kind of position because it gives you a spectacular view of her behind, but you better save this position after the arrival of your baby.
“The Kangaroo Pouch” – This position, where you lift your wife using your arms while she is facing you during penetration is a very big mistake. Not only are you putting your wife and your baby’s safety in danger, you are also causing unnecessary strain on your own back and hips. Now do you really need that now with a baby on the way?
“The Standing-Up Shower” – Yes, you read this right: Sure, shower sex does work for some couples, but with this manuever you are putting your wife at risk for accidental slipping on the floor. Not only are you posing threat to your wife if that does happen, you are also putting your precious baby at risk.
“The Hip Lift” – This is a very dangerous maneuver to try especially during the latter part of the pregnancy. Not only are you putting strain on your wife’s hips, you are causing yourself the unnecessary trouble of having to lift her weight (her belly included).
“The Butt-Lift” – This is, perhaps, the most ridiculous position any pregnant couple should avoid.