Networking is simply building relationships and yet there are a number of people who attend business events who do not seem to understand the first thing about how to go about it.
Building relationships takes time; If you are a member of the Impatience Society networking is not for you.
The first principle of building relationships is about giving and having an abundance mentality. It's not about what's in it for me, the true test of a good networker is the modern way of communication WII-FY ie What's in it for you? '
Ask questions such as 'Can I introduce you to someone here?' or 'How will I know if someone I'm talking to will be a good introduction for you?'
When we give to others, whether it is a referral, a useful piece of information or just our full attention when talking to others at events people tend to not just like you but sometimes feel indebted to you which can only help build continuing relationships
How 'not nice' people behave!
When you think cowboy, on the one hand you think Wild West & Indians. On the other hand we think of cowboys, people who are unprofessional, they con people, are not listening salesmen, in the very negative sense of the word I can only generalize but you know what I mean when I say there are many more male cowboys .
What behaviors do we see from these people when we attend business connected events?
1. When we meet him for the first time, there is not good eye contact. He did not look at you as you shake hands. Oh and that sloppy loose handshake. Or, conversely, the too friendly greeting, he grips your hand with both hands; he wants to be in control immediately.
2. You will see too much eye contact. He stares far too long or at the worst they undress the opposite gender with their eyes.
3. He tries to get friendly far too quickly. He tells inappropriate anecdotes or jokes often smutty. He asks inappropriate questions like 'do you live alone?' or 'perhaps we should get together after this event for dinner?'.
4. He lacks integrity dropping names to the wrong people at the wrong time.
5. He does not bother getting to know your name. Or if he does try a bit he gets it wrong. (Editors note. When you meet new people use first names only. Listen and repeat their name. People tend not to forget names they just do not hear and are too embarrassed to say.)
6. He talks far too much and takes control. Not interested in you at all and simply loves talking about himself. He will hijack a conversation
7. He's a toucher. Nothing wrong with that at the correct time and the appropriate settings. But these cowboys do it too soon in the beginning of the relationship.
8. He tries too hard to be interesting. He'll talk jargon and may even get his marketing literature out expecting you to go over it with him line by line.
9. If he spots an opportunity he does not know how to follow up properly and carefully. He ends up pestering not knowing that 'no' is 'no'
Ensure that no-one can ever accuse you of being a networking cowboy (or cowgirl!)
Networking is simply building relationships. How can anyone do that with the sort of behaviors listed?