Stop Worrying About Whether Or Not You Locked the Door

Well, did you lock the door? Did you really lock the door or do you just think you did?

A pal was describing to me how her mum has to keep going back to check she locked the door and has been diagnosed with OCD. In this post I am going to talk about what starts the obsessive process and how full blown obsessions develop (and also how to start getting rid of them).

WORRY

The ‘itchy’ nature of things that bug and worry us is how obsessive thinking is initially triggered. Obsessive thinking, fuelled by unreleased negative emotional energy, lays a foundation for full blown obsessions to develop later. The important thing to concentrate on here is ‘fuelled by’. Take away the fuel of your worry-engine and you take away the worrying. I will explain how to do this near the end of the post.

Worrying About Worrying

There comes a point when we know for sure that door is definitely locked but the worry keeps grabbing our attention and then we start to worry about why we are worrying. It is not the actual lock that bothers us but the emotional attachments held within the body linked to multiple dire and painful possibilities. We do not think we could cope with our own emotional responses to those possibilities if they ever happened.

The brain likes to represent things for us (it is very efficient and effective like that) and represented behind the focal point of that little door lock, and the little key we keep with us, is a whole host of scary stuff we imagine lies in wait if we get that door-locking-process wrong. Criticising yourself for worrying about the lock distracts you from facing up to the real concerns behind it – those things you do not believe you could cope with such as:

  • finding your home ransacked by burglars and even worse finding them still in your house when you arrive
  • losing things you have worked for all your life
  • precious memories tainted (eg jewellery from your mother) by having items stolen
  • loss of the belief your home is ‘safe’
  • wondering if the burglars will come back and what kind of evil people do such things
  • the concern you will be irreversibly damaged by the event.

These are all representations – products of our imagination. Knowing that is all they are causes us to criticise ourselves for being emotionally attached to them and refusing to feel the emotional responses associated with those underlying representations. We regard our emotional responses as ‘over-reacting’ and consciously try to stop worrying; we try to freeze the process. We attempt to stop both the thinking and the feelings involved.

Trying to Stop The Thinking Does Not Work

Fighting worrying thoughts with additional counteractive thinking such as ‘I should not be thinking about this repeatedly because it only exists in my imagination’, and then trying to distract yourself by deliberately focusing on nice things to think about instead means you must first think about what it is you are trying to avoid thinking about – and this keeps re-creating it. Doh.

Un-think a pink elephant – can you do it? Try again. Try again. Later when you are around the thing you do not want to think about, such as that lock, you think ‘I hope I do not think about it otherwise all those negative sensations will come back with it’. Guess what you just did. Yes, you thought about it.

Feelings Are The Key to Stopping Worrying

You are actually designed to cope with all of your feelings in all real-life scenarios regardless of content or intensity. Feelings work in a specific way. They appear, you feel them, and they eventually move through and out of you – if you let them. When you try to stop this process in its tracks you develop an ‘I would not be able to cope with my feelings in that situation’ belief system (in truth it is because you do not want to feel your negative feelings, rather than because you cannot, but who can blame you for not wanting to?). Nevertheless, to heal this worrying you must feel your feelings out.

By refusing to acknowledge these imagined scenarios as being a valid part of your built-in emotional response system you refuse to release the emotional charge attached and you keep the festering ‘I could not cope’ message running in your brain and body. When you set out to deliberately destroy these worries, because you see them as ‘wrong’, you then risk creating secondary emotional responses.

SECONDARY EMOTIONAL RESPONSES

Secondary emotional responses cause obsessions; panic attacks; phobias and a whole host of other anxiety-related disorders. Although they are intended to remove a primary emotional response they merely cement it further in place – they fail to work in the same way trying to un-think thoughts fails to work and they keep regenerating the problem.

In most cases a secondary emotional response is a repeat of the primary response: we can generate anger at being angry (rage attacks); fear of being afraid (panic attacks). We can also generate fear of feeling disgust and also anger towards feeling fear. It is often easier to notice the second type of secondary emotional responses because they produce different physical sensations, whereas ‘fear of fear’ and ‘anger at anger’ can seem to blend into an overall painful mass and we have difficulty seeing which is a primary and which is a secondary response.

When you have a secondary emotional response your thinking and feelings have been geared up for war against your own original emotional response. The determination not to have the primary response is so strong you are trying to physically remove the entire thinking/feeling process from your body. This cannot be done. Instead you must aim for the goal of flowing the energy through your body until the overspill is down to a reasonable level and your mind stops regarding the situation as a problem.

In the case of a phobia of door locks, for example, you have created a secondary response that causes you to emotionally fight every door lock you come across just in case it causes you to have a fearful emotional response. In the case of an obsession you have the image of a door lock repeatedly flashing in your conscious mind attached to the most extreme emotionally intense responses you are capable of producing. And because you know it is not ‘real’, you keep fighting it.

HYPERVIGILANCE

Hypervigilance, or being super-aware, is designed to keep you alive in long-term immediately life threatening situations. You are unconsciously driven to look for evidence of things even slightly related to the perceived threat. When you are hypervigilant your holistic thinking is shut down as you focus solely on looking for sensory signals related only to the trigger.

Feeling hypervigilant is the difference between seeing a wild, hungry lion on your television and having a wild, hungry lion in your home. Lions on the telly engage your conscious thinking brain in seeing nature at its most powerful and beautiful; lions in your home engage your unconscious emotional brain in contemplating the painful deaths of you and your loved ones and cause you to have powerful physical responses.

A heavy breath; a moving shadow; scratching claws; sharp teeth. In hypervigilance your unconscious emotional brain runs you and automatically produces the signals that tell your senses ‘danger!’. But you do not need a real lion in your home to become hypervigilant. All you need to achieve this state in normal every day life is to refuse to engage your conscious thinking brain in working with your negatively charged emotional issues.

Refusing to consciously work with an emotional issue does not make the issue go away – it forces the issue downwards into your unconscious emotional brain.

Because your unconscious emotional brain does not know the difference between imagined and real scenarios it assumes it has received the information because the scenario is real. When your unconscious emotional brain takes control of dealing with issues you refused to deal with consciously your risk of hypervigilance is greatly increased.

Two other things that can increase the risk of hypervigilance are:

  • the feared event, or something similar to it, actually happening or having happened in the past so your unconscious mind has evidence such a threat could be real
  • having your sense of control over the prevention of such imagined events being undermined; for example a partner who always leaves the door unlocked when they go out.

Becoming hypervigilant towards triggers you know to be false in the present moment means you have emotional reactions you do not want or understand. Your unconscious brain creates imagery, sounds and sensations that appear in your conscious brain against your conscious will and you have physical reactions, driven by extreme emotional responses, that exactly mimic the false situation as if it were real. If there were an actual lion in the room you would welcome this reaction because it could keep you alive – but when you know these reactions are happening around imagined events you continue to fight them; continue to try and force them out of conscious awareness but send them repeatedly down into your emotional brain for unconscious processing.

To undo this unconsciously driven nightmare you have to do just one thing: consciously reclaim your feelings. The earlier you start the better.

HOW TO STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU LOCKED THE DOOR

When a person develops OCD or an obsession in regard to whether or not they locked the door they’ve taken what started out as a fear-laden area of worry, refused to spend time with it, started to fight it and then turned that fight into an unconscious long-term habit supported by secondary emotional responses that defend against the undoing of that habit.

This habit actually restructures both your brain and your emotional release system. Specific emotional responses are blocked from leaving the body while thought patterns are created that act like ‘shields’ trying to stop you from thinking about certain areas of life. But like any other habit it can be reversed if you’re willing to pay the price and give it the time required.

Here’s an example of a strategy you can use to remove the initial obsessional worrying process:

Step 1: Focus On the Door Lock

Accept it is not your thoughts but your feelings that keep driving you to pay attention to the lock. The feelings we’re talking about here are feelings already present in your body waiting to be released – I’m not talking about deliberately generating new feelings. If when you focus on an object you have feelings automatically come up they are already present in your body and they will keep asking you to pay attention to the issue they represent until they are released.

Step 2: Explore Your Feelings and the Issues to Which They Relate

Explore the threat of burglary and how you would react; explore the threat of feeling stupid after the event if you forgot to lock your door; having the police come round and point security issues out to you that you should have been thinking about and did not – explore the embarrassment all that entails. Explore the issues and feel the feelings in depth. Do this consciously and this reduces the need for your unconscious emotional mind to keep getting involved.

Step 3: Tell Yourself You Would Cope if These ‘Terrible’ Things Happened

Because you would. You would hurt; but you would cope. The feelings you have while imagining the scenario are roughly the same as you would have if the scenario were real, if you can cope with the imagined scenario you can cope with the real version.

Step 4: Accept that Locking the Door is an Important Thing You Need to Concentrate on When You Are Doing It

Sometimes the reason we worry is because we are distracted by other things fighting for our attention and our memory of having performed an important act is blurred. Our unconscious is telling us we did not pay enough attention to the door at the time of locking. What is happening here is your unconscious is working in line with your deepest value systems and reminding you to keep in line with them.

Step 5: Replay Issues and Release the Emotional Responses Attached to Them Until They Stop Grabbing Your Attention

Do not wait until the issue reappears and you say ‘oh no, not again’. Set aside a regular time slot each week where you deliberately go searching for issues; deliberately seek to feel the feelings attached.

Step 6: Do Not Self-Criticise

Self-criticism about this process is like telling yourself it is wrong to feel pain when you cut yourself. Almost all people I have met who worry or who develop anxiety disorders tell themselves ‘I have gone wrong’ on the basis of their experiencing negative feelings. You get a broken leg, it hurts physically. You imagine a harmful life event, it hurts emotionally. It is not desirable, but it is not ‘wrong’. When you catch yourself telling yourself this, challenge it. The self-criticism needs to be repeatedly stopped when it surfaces – eventually it will be become a habit not to do it.

Step 7: Rinse and Repeat

If you follow this process over and over again you will find your worries eventually disappear. That lock no longer keeps grabbing your attention.

The Magnesium Production Process

Magnesium is an alkaline earth metal that is never found in nature on its own. Instead, the element is found in seawater, carbon ores, dolomite, carnalite, and other minerals. Thus, the production of the metal in order to create the cutting edge magnesium sheet products begins as soon as the minerals and seawater is harvested. There are two important ways that the elemental magnesium is extracted from nature before it can be used in creating other products.

Electrolysis

This method is most commonly used to extract the magnesium from its most abundant source, seawater. The goal is to extract magnesium hydroxide from the seawater, not the elemental magnesium. The seawater is concentrated into brine and then dried and dissolved in hydrochloric acid. The reaction creates magnesium chloride, which is evaporated to produce a salt. The salt is then heated to melting point. It can conduct electricity in this state. The electricity passed through the molten salt separates it into elemental magnesium and elemental chlorine. The chlorine becomes a gas and the magnesium is left over.

To work, the raw materials must contain an oxide or chloride, making seawater not the only source suitable for electrolysis. The process also works on extracting the magnesium from rock minerals.

Thermal Reduction

Industrial minerals are an increasingly significant component of B.C.’s mineral wealth. The most economically significant industrial minerals produced are: magnesite, white calcium carbonate, limestone, silica, dimension stone, gypsum, sulphur, construction aggregate and crushed rock. The mineral magnesium compounds, such as that bonded with dolomite, are extracted using thermal reduction. Extreme high heat is required and process is much more costly than electrolysis, the preferred extraction method. The mineral compound is heated at such a high heat until they separate into their own compound couplings. The magnesium couples with oxygen to make magnesium oxide and the calcium bonds with the leftover oxygen to create calcium oxide or lime. These compounds are further reduced using heat and silicon to extract the magnesium in the form of a vapor. Then, it is condensed by reactor to ready for refining.

The heat required to facilitate the reduction is so high that a vacuum is needed to lower the reaction temperatures. There are three ways to perform a thermal extraction:

  • Pidgeon process
  • Bolzano process
  • Magnatherm process

At the end of the extraction processes, the magnesium is in a crystal-like form. It is melted once again, refined to further extract impurities and then pure magnesium is ready to turn into sheets.

Advantages of Using Cement Bricks

CEMENT BRICKS

Cement bricks are generally seven and ten MPa strength and are used in all applications such as:

• Residential housing

• Walls where the wall will be plastered

• Small DIY jobs,

• Where it is unlikely that anyone will see the wall.

Advantages of using cement bricks

Using cementbricks to build your house or to extend your house is the smart way to go. Because of their strength, they last a long time. With every building built with it is likely to last longer than other buildings.

The advantages are:

• They last longer

• They are extremely strong

• You can custom colour cement bricks

• More affordable

It allows you to build with ease, and they can be made according to your liking and size. General Size: 220mm x 100mm x 70mm Weight: 2.3kgs Quantity per pallet: 500 Strength: 7 MPa and 10MPa

It takes about 5-7days to create and mould a cement brick, with the right hydraulic pressure and vibration. The cement never stops curing so thus is constantly increasing in strength.

CLAY BRICKS – (Stock, Semi Face & Face bricks) Standard Clay stock bricks are classed by NFP or NFX.

NFP stands for non-facing plaster which basically means it is a wall or building that is going to be plastered. NFX stands for Non facing extra. This means that you could use this as a semi face and it is not required to be plastered.

Ithas very low water absorption and are known for their consistency in quality and shape. These clay bricks exceed the minimum specifications of standards authorities will respect the brick strength,water absorption,efflorescence and dimensional stability to be.

General Size: 220mm x 100mm x 70mm Efflorescene: Nil to slight Water absorption: 10.9% Strength: 14MPa – 41.1MPa

Advantages of using clay bricks

Clay bricks provide a good solid foundation when you are building. They come in handy, for any building project, whether you are extending your house or building a new one. Clay bricks are very reliable, and are used,loved and come highly recommended by most builders. The reason why builders use clay bricks, is because of the great advantages. These are the advantages:

• Fire resistant

• Low carbon footprint

• Claybricks are very strong

& reliable

• Highly affordable

In general, your project will determine whether you will be using face, semi-face or cement bricks. If you want the more affordable option, you will need to plaster the wall with the face/ semi-face bricks being more expensive.

What Kinds of Portable Electric Heaters Are Out There? A Halogen Heater is a Great Choice!

While many heaters are portable in this day and age, few offer cost and energy savings. There are many options out on the market today for Portable Electric Heaters that work well in different situations, and today we are going to look into a few of them, including the newest one of the bunch, a halogen heater.

First of all, the heater that most people are very familiar with, is the conventional ceramic convection heater. These heaters are by far the most commonly used in America. Ceramic convection heaters excel in heating of very small rooms, because they heat the air in the room. This has a negative effect on the efficiency of heating a large room however, because the volume of air is greater. While ceramic heaters are cheap, they are also extreme firehazards. Over half of this winter’s accidental fires in homes will be caused by ceramic heaters.

Another option is a relatively new option in either infrared, quartz, or halogen heater. The terms infrared, quartz, and halogen generally refer to the same concept, and can be basically used interchangeably. The only difference between the three is the gas used in the bulbs of the heater. While these heaters are not effective in heating rooms that are empty, they excel in heating areas that have people in them. This is because the rays that are created when electricity travels through the quartz heater bulb directly interact with your skin to provide warmth. This is why a halogen heater, or a infrared, whichever you prefer, is an excellent instant heat option.

Pipe Welding Or 6G Code Welding With A Rig: What Is It, And Why Does It Pay Up To $100 An Hour?

Follow the pipe welding truck to find decent money.

Oil and gas is a huge industry. The majority of pipe welders work in the petrochemical industry, which means oil fields, refineries, and oil pipe lines. Another large employer of pipe welders is power plants of all kinds. However, about the most a pipe rig welder (a pipe welder with welding equipment on a truck he owns) can make in the oil and gas game is $85 an hour. If you’re “rigged up” and ready in North Dakota and places like it, you’re only looking at about $70 an hour.

The $100 an-hour money is paid where the food truck goes to load up.

Food factories which make everything from canned corn to Canadian bacon must adhere to very strict cleanliness standards and procedures. Why? It’s because they can easily make hundreds or even thousands of people sick. Most of the pipe in these huge facilities is stainless steel.

Typically, the welding of the pipe is done with the TIG process – what used to be called heliarc. Believe it or not, if you’re an independent TIG rig welder, who’s great with stainless pipe, and knows how to fit it up, you’ll be billing at $100 or more an hour, no joke.

Not all pipe welders weld stainless. Not all pipe welders are certified to weld pipe of any kind with the TIG process. Most of the pipe welded in the oil and gas industry is welded using stick welding, or wire welding, although stick is still dominant.

What education courses must a stainless (TIG) pipe welder take to weld stainless pipe?

The U.S. has no education requirement for pipe welders – but the industry does. The welding industry is structured so that you are encouraged to take a year or two of classes involving both book learning and practice of basic welding skills before you can weld pipe. The problem is, the majority of welding students are out of money, and out of time before they get to pipe welding school.

What will the industry never tell you?

There is no standard in the U.S. which includes formal education, before you can weld stainless food grade pipe at $100 or more an hour. However, you must pass a certification weld test (not a written test). You weld a test joint, and if you pass, you can weld.

What’s the catch 22?

For those of you too young to know what a catch 22 is: It is when you must do Step #1 before you can do Step #2 – but you can’t do Step #1 until you do Step #2. The catch 22 is experience.

You’ll never be paid to weld food grade stainless pipe for real, until you have real field experience welding food grade pipe! Is that Crazy? The short version: If you want to weld food grade stainless pipe, you had better REALLY want to do it.

So, how do you break into the industry?

You can save a ton of money, time and frustration, by skipping most or all of the basic welding education. You can buy a good TIG welder, learn basic safety, and you can teach yourself to TIG weld stainless pipe at home. When you’re ready, you can pay a certified welding inspector to test your best joint, and he’ll issue a certification certificate with a wallet card.

Now, you may not know anything else about anything in the world, but if you focus like a laser on welding stainless steel pipe with TIG, to the point where you get certified, you’ll be half way through the catch 22. Once you’re certified, you can apply to work for welding contractors who do food grade stainless.

They won’t pay you much to start, and they’ll have you doing grunt work, even though you are certified. Slowly, they’ll allow you to weld more and more, and eventually, they’ll pay you well to weld. After as little as one year, you may want to strike out on your own, and you can do the billing at $100 an hour or more. Where will your friends be? They’ll still be taking basic welding classes.

What should you do next?

Bathtub Faucet Repair Tips and Techniques

Did you know that you can fix a leaking shower faucet and save hundreds of gallons of water a year? Most people just think of a dripping faucet as an annoyance and don’t realize how much precious water is being wasted one drop at a time. The good news is that almost anyone with a few basic hand tools can learn how to fix most dripping faucets.

Let’s start with the basics. Faucets have one primary purpose, to allow the water in your pipes to be used in a controlled manner. This means that they have to open to allow water out of the pipes and close to keep water in the pipes. Not rocket science, right? The closing part is what we want to concentrate on here.

There Are Two Basic Faucet Designs

Faucets drip when they fail to completely trap the water in the pipes. Most faucets use one of two basic methods to stop the water flow. Some, primarily older designs, use rubber or neoprene washers which tighten against a “seat” and block the flow of water. Drips from these faucets are addressed by replacing the washers and/or seats. We’ll talk about how to do that in a minute. Most other faucet designs involve some sort of cartridge. Some people call these “washerless” faucets. Repairing newer style water faucets like these usually involves replacing the cartridge(s).

Washers And Seats

Older faucet designs often use washers to block the water and keep it in the pipes. Tightening the handle compresses the washer against a “seat” and seals the opening, thus stopping the water flow. If you need to do a bathtub faucet repair on a three handle wall faucet you probably have this type. You will also run into this style if you need to fix a leaking shower faucet hat has two handles. Many sink and lavatory faucets also use washers. One way to tell whether or not your faucets use washers is to see if the handle gets harder to turn as you turn it off. If turning it really tight stops the drip, this probably, but not always, means that you have washers. If you do have a dripping faucet that has washers, the basic repair process is very similar whether you need to know how to repair a shower faucet,repair a leaking tub faucet or fix a dripping sink faucet. There is, however, one important difference.

Bathtub Faucet Repair

The one critical thing to remember when fixing a leaky bathtub faucet is that you will have to turn the water off to the entire house before removing any parts other than the outer trim pieces. If you’re not sure which pieces are trim, just turn the water off first just in case. Once you have turned off the main water to the house you can begin taking things apart. There are lots of different brands and designs of faucets out there and they all come apart a little differently, so you will have to sort of feel your way through.

Removing The Trim

The first step is to remove the handles. This is usually done by removing a cap to expose the handle screw and then removing the screw. Next, remove the handle. This may require a little finesse, as the handles sometimes get stuck in place. One trick is to place the handles of a pair of channel lock pliers behind the valve handle, one on each side, and tap evenly on the handle to nudge it loose. If this doesn’t work you can buy a special tool to remove handles but these tools are sometimes hard to find and usually a little patience is all you need to do the trick.

After he handles are off, there is usually some sort of sleeve over the stem itself. This typically has to come off too. Once again, there are many different configurations. One popular design uses threaded plastic tubes to connect the trim sleeve with the valve. Other types have the sleeve threaded directly onto the valve. You will have to figure this step out before you can proceed. If you can determine what brand valve you have there is a good chance of finding instructions on-line.

Now For The Root Of The Problem

OK, so you have removed both the handles and any remaining trim sleeve from the valve. Now you are ready to get to the root of the problem, your valve stem. The washer is almost always at the other end of the valve stem from the handle. Usually the stem is threaded into the valve body and you will just need to unscrew it to remove it. Here’s a tip. Stick the handle back on for a second and open the valve half way. This relieves pressure on the stem and makes it easier to unscrew. Now you just need to make sure you are loosening the correct nut.

Lots of valves have a packing nut around the stem. It is usually a little smaller and just in front of the actual connection with the valve body. The packing nut’s purpose is to squeeze some special packing material around the stem to prevent water from leaking around the stem when the valve is in use. Loosening the packing nut won’t help you, you need to get your wrench on the actual connection to the valve body. By the way, a deep socket is often the only tool that will work to remove the valve stem.

Removing The Valve Stem

The easiest way to make sure you have the correct nut is to see if there is a gap opening up between the nut and the valve body as you loosen the nut. The valve stem itself will also usually turn when you have the right one. If you have loosened the packing nut by mistake, don’t worry, you will adjust it before you are finished anyway. Go ahead and remove both stems and keep up with which one is which, it matters on many valves.

After you have the stems out you should be able to find the washer on the “inside” end. If it is nicked, torn or brittle it is likely the cause of your drip. Even if it looks brand new, go ahead and replace it. You’ve already come this far. You can get replacement washers at almost any hardware store. Sometimes you may want to replace the whole stem, especially if the handle end is stripped out. It’s best to just take the stem with you to the store and see if you can match it up. Most Do It Yourself stores have replacement stems for many popular brands. If your valve has a center diverter valve to switch the waterfrom the tub spout to the shower head the same process applies. Many times it is easier to replace the diverter stem than to repair it. This really depends on the design of the stem.

How Are Your Seats?

One more thing to check is the seats. These are the part of the valve body that the washer tightens up against to stop the water flow. If you can get your finger inside the valve, feel of the seats and see if they feel rough. If so, it would be best to replace them if you can get them out. The inside of the seats, which is where the water flows through when the valve is open, usually have either a hex or square recess. Special seat wrenches are used to remove the seats. You can usually get these wrenches at the same place you get the other parts and they’re not expensive. You just stick the wrench through the seat and unscrew it. The replacement seats screw back in the same way, just put a little pipe dope on the threads before you install it.

Put It All Back Together

Once you’ve figured out what needs to be replaced and have done that, you just need to put everything back together. If your valve has packing nuts don’t put the trim back on until you have turned the water back on. Once the water is on, go ahead and stick the handle on for a second and open the valve. Make sure no water is leaking around the stem. If it is leaking, with the handle opened half way, snug down the packing nut until the leak stops. Easy does it. If you get it too tight the handle will be hard to turn. Now finish installing the trim pieces and you are done.

Repairing Newer Style Water Faucets

If you have a newer, “washerless” type valve the repair process is similar, but usually easier. Many of these type valves use a self contained cartridge. If the valve starts to drip, just replace the cartridge and you’re done. You still need to turn the water off and remove the handles and trim. The cartridge is usually held in place by a retaining nut on the valve body or, in the case of most Moen valves, by a retaining clip. Simply remove the cartridge and put another one in it’s place. If your hot and cold are backwards when you finish, turn the water back off, pull the cartridge back out, turn it over 180 degrees and re-install it.

Delta Style Valves

One other common design that is considered “washerless” was made famous by Delta and copied by several other makers. It uses little “cup” seals that fit over springs recessed in the back of the valve body. The springs press these “seals” against the cartridge and regulate the flow through little tapered openings in the cartridge. If you have one of these and it’s dripping, changing these springs and seals will usually correct it. Here’s a tip. Once you have the cartridge out of the way, insert a phillips screwdriver into the seal and pop both the seal and spring out. Stick the new ones on the end of the screwdriver to help guide them into place. This is especially helpful if you don’t have long slender fingers.

Delta, and a few imitators, also have a faucet design that uses a ball instead of a cartridge. This is not as common in tub or shower valves but there are plenty of them out there. The springs and seals are the same but there are lots more o-rings an parts to deal with. The good news is that these parts are readily available. While it’s a little more complicated than learning how to repair a Moen kitchen faucet, which is a piece of cake, it is still easier than working with most washer type faucets.

These Techniques Work In The Kitchen Too

Armed with the knowledge you’ve gained in this article you now not only know how to repair a shower faucet and to repair a leaking tub faucet, but you can apply these skills to many other faucets as well. After fixing a leaky bathtub faucet, stopping a dripping outside hose faucet will be a breeze. The techniques that you will use to complete a “washerless” bathtub faucet repair can be used when repairing newer style water faucets of all kinds. Whether you have an old dripping tub faucet or a newer kitchen faucet that just won’t quite shut off you can now fix it. So put these new skills to use, roll up your sleeves and stop that drip!

Copyright 2008 Bryan Stevens

Overcoming Stuck Plumbing Fixtures

Solving plumbing problems yourself is usually the first step most home owners will take when plumbing mishaps occur. Professional plumbers have a number of tricks that they use to fix plumbing problems. Salt Lake City plumbers have the right training to fix major plumbing issues, and can also repair small leaks and problems that you may not feel up to fixing.

There are many different SLC plumbers to choose from when searching for Utah plumbers. If you are in need of a plumbing repair find a Salt Lake City plumber that has a good reputation for fair prices and fast results. One way to find a good Utah plumber is to ask neighbors or friends if they know of any good SLC plumbers in the area.

If the problem is not serious, however, having a basic knowledge of piping systems and plumbing can come in handy. If you are a do-it-yourself type of person, there are plenty of jobs that can be fixed with out the need of calling on a Utah plumber. There are certain jobs that should always be left to professional plumbers, however, so do not try to fix any major repairs on your own or you can cause even more damage.

When working on a plumbing project you may find yourself frustrated by a stuck fixture. There are a few techniques that many SLC plumbers use to remove stuck plumbing fixtures. Here are just a few things to try:

Begin by tightening the nut that is connected to the fixture. If the nut is able to move at all you may be able to then get it the move the opposite way and get it loose. If you are able to back it out the other way you can usually remove the fixture with little problem.

If that trick does not work try to jar it loose. You can do this with a center punch and hammer. Make sure you aim the center punch with the middle of the nuts sides and try to shake the nut free.

If this does not free the fixture apply some heat. Heat will make the nut expand and may be the ticket to loosening it. Use safety measures when heating the nut, and use your wrench to loosen the nut while it is still hot and expanded.

If all else fails you can always cut the nut and bolt. This can be done with a hacksaw. Cut through the threads of the bolt first, and continue on until you can break off the nut from the fixture.

Different Materials Used to Build Gates and Fences

When you are thinking about building a gate or fence, there are many different materials to consider. Whether you choose iron, wood, bamboo, or some other material, each has its own unique characteristics, strengths, and weaknesses.

When it comes to a need for a sturdy and strong gate, iron is a common choice. There are a number of reasons why wrought iron is one of the most popular materials for gates and fences. First and most important, you will not find any material stronger for the purpose at hand.

Another benefit is that your new iron fence will provide substantial strength (and, therefore, security) than other gate materials. Another important benefit to choosing iron for your new fence is that it is a very long-lasting material. There is virtually nothing that can damage it, and it will stay in top-notch condition for many years or even decades.

The fact that your wrought iron fence will look beautiful is also significant. Instead of a fence made from an unsightly, lesser-quality material, it will be a stylish addition to your home and property.

Wooden gates and fences are also popular. The reasons for their appeal include wood being a much lighter weight material, and also that it can be painted to coordinate with your home or outdoor surroundings.

Many people also prefer wood gates and fences because they are much easier to remove if they wish to do so. They are easy to keep clean and, if they are painted on a regular basis, they always have a nice, fresh appearance. When you choose a fine quality wood for your gates and fence, your little structure will be long-lasting as well as looking good.

For those who prefer a very natural look to their landscape, a bamboo fence is a unique touch. It will be a delightful surprise to all who enter your home. In addition to serving its purpose as a lightweight fence around your property, it is a very attractive addition to your natural surroundings.

As bamboo is amazingly strong despite its weight, it does not require much care in order to remain in perfect condition. It is a different approach which you are sure to love.

When you are considering the different materials used to build gates and fences, keeping your own personal tastes in mind will help you to make the best choice. As each type of material has its own individual characteristics, it should be easy for you to select the material you will like and appreciate the most.

The Gamma Brainwave and Manifestation in the Law of Attraction

You may have come across various experts and exponents of The Law of Attraction discussing the links between the Gamma brainwave and manifestation. Or, more accurately, the link between the Gamma brainwave and successful manifestation.

So, what are Gamma brainwaves and what is its connection to manifestation and The Law of Attraction?

Gamma brainwaves are the fastest of all the brainwave frequencies (certainly of those that have been successfully and comprehensively studied). Gamma brainwaves typically ranges from anywhere between 28 and more than 80 cps (cycle per second), with each of these cycles comprising an ‘on’ state (a peak) and an ‘off’ state (a trough).

Gamma brainwaves are generally only found to be active in the minds of people undergoing extreme mental stress or other mental activity. It is also prevalent in those who have achieved an unusually deep meditative state. A recent study of Buddhist monks in Tibet recorded Gamma brainwave activity in the region of 40 cycles per second, coinciding with their meditative activities, particularly when they had reached a higher state of clarity and insightfulness.

Given that manifestation calls for clarity of mind and focus, it need hardly be said that the ability to achieve these higher Gamma brainwave states would undoubtedly be of considerable benefit. In fact, there are those who believe that successful manifestation (as defined by The Law of Attraction) is virtually impossible for those who aren’t capable of achieving these higher states.

This explains the recent explosion of interest amongst Law of Attraction devotees in binaural beats, monaural beats, isochronic tones and other brain entrainment systems to stimulate the brain into adopting a particular frequency.

The link between the gamma brainwave and manifestation is likely to become more pronounced as time goes by.

Perimeter – Overflow Swimming Pool Maintenance Concerns

When you are thinking of your swimming pool design, that is when to think about swimming pool maintenance. Is it going to be easy to maintain?

A perimeter overflow swimming pool typically has an overflow channel, which is a trench that surrounds the pool, covered by a removable grille. Surface water flows over the edge of the pool and runs by gravity to the filtration plant, usually via a catchment and top-up tank. It’s important to think about the swimming pool maintenance of your perimeter overflow pool when work on the construction plans is going on.

The design of the vessel should facilitate maintenance as much as possible. Obviously, taking these things into account initially will go a long way in making swimming pool maintenance easier in the long run. Because of the high water level, these pools do not use skimmers to help sift out leaves and other debris. Therefore dirt will head straight for the edges and hit the slot or grate.

While some pool builders prefer to design a system for minimal flow, a suggested alternative is to feed a little more water over the top, so that its force helps direct matter over into the gutter. The choice of slot or grate will affect the ability to clean the pool. Grates are generally easier to remove and have more open area in which dirt and particles can fall. Some pool owners like the look of a slot better. You can size this space on the larger side to help debris fall through. Some pool constructors will create a 1-inch gap between the edge of the slot and the deck. This not only allows more debris to fall through, but it also accommodates a small nozzle so a swimming pool maintenance service technician can spray down the gutters. Some don’t like the way this looks, however, and prefer the narrower openings. Some pool builders slope the gutters to direct water and particulate into the drains. The holding tank can then be devised to sift out the unwanted materials. Solid matter will settle to the bottom anyway, so pick up water from higher in the tank. Place the feeds in the top 18 to 24 inches so that it pulls the cleanest water back into the pool.

The container will need occasional cleaning, too. For that reason, the manhole leading to it should be put in an accessible area. Another tip is to install some of the coping stones immediately surrounding the slot so they can be removed for access.

Remember: Swimming Pool Maintenance is Easy, If You Plan It Right!

6 Tips For An Affordable Home Renovation

Your home is one of the biggest investments you’ll ever have. And just like any investment it is important that you take care of your house by doing the necessary repairs, regular maintenance and most of all keeping the house design up to date. By doing so, the value of your home will significantly increase. However, due to today’s economic problems, a home renovation project may not be on top of your to-do list at this time.

But what if I tell you that there are ways on how you can save a lot of money on home remodeling? Yes, you can remodel your home at a price you can afford. All you need to do is strategically plan your materials, design and timing for your home remodelling project. You will see that it is actually not so hard to cut costs without compromising the quality of the project. Here are some tips on how to remodel your home without blowing up your budget.

1. Efficiency matters, not size. Reorganizing your home, bathroom or kitchen for maximum utility doesn’t necessarily require building or creating more space. You can do this by using shelves with concealed cabinets or pullout drawers. This can be very useful especially in the kitchen, where careful planning to get additional space pays off by not needing to extend the cabinetry into the other rooms.

2. Let there be light. You can let in more natural light into your house without building additional windows and doors. Before smashing your walls for more windows or bifold doors, why not think of less expensive and less invasive ways of having more light. For example, you can make a windowless hallway brighter by installing a solar tube skylight which could be more affordable than putting up a new window.

3. Do-it-yourself demolition. If you are planning to start a home renovation project on a tight budget, you can begin by being your own demolition team. Even though knocking down a part of your home may not be as expensive as rebuilding it, you can still save a few dollars by doing some of the demolition work yourself. Just be careful and take extra precautions. Don’t forget to salvage reusable building and slightly used fixtures. If you have more time to spare, you can also try some of the finishing work yourself such as painting, sanding, installing the insulation and rubbish removal.

4. Consider long-term expenses. Purchasing pre-finished materials may be costly upfront but it allows you to save cash on extensive paint or finishing jobs. For example, you can get primed and painted weatherboard, skirting, decking boards and even prefabricated wall finishes. These items usually cost more upfront but they will also help you save some valuable time and money by preventing costly paint jobs.

5. It’s all about the timing. Renovation jobs can be costly especially if you’re doing it on peak season. Contractors usually double their charges if they are highly in-demand. So, you might want to create a timetable on when to efficiently start your renovation project. This way, you will have more bargaining power with the contractor and it is likely that you will get a fair deal for your remodelling project. It is also important to get price quotes from more than one contractor.

6. Go out and buy your own remodeling materials. Remodeling materials are normally expensive. Furthermore, there are some contractors who add a little price commission on the building materials that they buy in your behalf, thus, making the process even more expensive. This is why it would be better if you buy them yourself instead of handing over that task to the contractor to make sure that you are getting exactly what you are paying for. This also allows you to monitor every penny you shell out on your renovation project.

SAP Software Measurement Reports in 10 Easy Steps

It’s quite understandable that you had a hard time making decision to procure the SAP software considering cost and business renovation according to the system. Then, after many months of planning and implementation go through, you finally GoLive and try to find some room to relax. But, in no time you almost spend a calendar year, so here comes annual SAP official license audit. You will start receiving mails from SAP audit team members to complete the reports by given date. Actually you are not ready for all these measurement parameters to count so early. But as you have already signed the agreement with SAP, you should perform these steps in due time. So, you will soon start working with some new terms like USMM, SLAW etc.

So what is USMM?

USMM is the Tcode for the measurement program. By using this tool, you can determine all users license classification as per your procured SAP application and also the number of engines powered in each system. Then you can transfer the report online, directly to SAP.

Now, what is LAW?

LAW stands for License Administration Workbench, sounds bit tough though. Tcode for running this tool is SLAW. You can consolidate each system measurement reports by this program and send directly to SAP.

So are you ready to prepare your first measurement reports? Surely you are. Before proceeding to USMM, you must consider the following points –

– Check on SAP Service Market Place that you have all valid System Installations. Delete any unused or invalid installation without proper license.

– Check at, SAP Market Place -> Data Administration -> System Data

– Make sure you are the authorized person to do this, duly assigned by your company.

– Check your authorization profile on each system, that you have proper authorization to run USMM.

– Measurements should be done for Production, Development & Test Systems, that means you have to exclude IDES (Training) systems and any Backup systems.

– Prepare your measurement plan according to you Contract number, Installation/Customer number and System identification.

– Consult with your regional SAP LAW Team for all kind of assistance. Yes, they are available and very helpful in the matter no doubt.

SAP System measurement procedure on Development Systems:

1. Run the transaction code USMM.

2. Select ABAP DEV Client ON Clients tab.

3. Go to Price lists tab and select the applicable price list as per your contract.

4. Select User types. SAP Application Developer (CA) and Test (91).

5. On the Addresses tab, enter senders name & recipient name.

6. Now the most important part, User Classification. Run the query by clicking on ‘User classification’ (Shift+F6). Enter ABAPer client and execute (F8). This will show a list of all users according to license. Select SAP Application Developer(s) /ABAPer(s) as per your number of ABAP Developer license(s) and assign all other users as ‘Test’ user type. Be sure that ‘Checked user Type’ completely matched with ‘Manual User Type’. If any mismatch found, re-classify by selecting all mismatched users and click on ‘Classify Selected Users’ (Shift+F1). Select Contractual User Type from drop down menu and click on Save icon (Ctrl+S). Then run the query again to check all user classification is accurate. Now back to main USMM screen (F3).

7. As it seems like you have configured the parameters correctly, now it’s time to execute the main query, the ‘System Measurement’, click or just press F8. It will take around 5 to 15 minutes to complete all background job processes, depending your system and number of users. So, just sit back and have a cup of coffee in the meantime.

8. Check the ‘Measurement Statistics’ that all data is as per your configuration.

9. Click on ‘Comments’, if you want to send a Memo to SAP along with the measurements.

10. Finally, send your measurement results online to SAP by clicking on ‘Send to SAP’ or just press F10.

Now be sure that your SAP Router is active to complete the online transfer of reports. You can check the online transfer process by using the tcode SDCC or, SDCCN, will be discussed later. In case of LAW consolidation, export the measurement report. Go to top horizontal menu, System Measurement -> Export to LAW File (Ctrl+F10). Then from Data Transfer Selection, select ‘By Download to file’ and click execute (F8). Save the txt file in your computer for later import in LAW consolidation. You can also transfer by choosing RFC to LAW Center or By Email, but in reality downloading as a txt file is the easiest way to proceed.

Now that you have completed the hard work, wait for your SAP License Auditor to response over email. They will come up with specific suggestions whether you need any correction on selection or re-classification of users. If required, submit any system measurement report through the same previous way as many times as the License Auditor asks for. Don’t keep any pending report, otherwise your audit will not be closed for that year. On the next response from SAP, you will get an email on ‘Verification of Measurement Reports’. You just need to verify the accuracy of measurement results and thus confirm in reply to get final audit certification.

Details of SAP Software License Audit & System Measurement activities on a Live Production system is available on http://www.saphome.com

Cool Tattoos – How to Pick Cool Tattoos and Not Cheesy Tattoos

It's hard to believe the day would come where tattoo wearing would become so popular that some individuals end up looking more cheesy than anything with all their posturing ink. Tattoos used to portray a symbol of danger, strength, strong symbolism, and personal meaning. Now days they are used as a vehicle to "look cool". But trying too hard to look cool ends up leading to just looking like a dork, or looking cheesy.

What is a true "cool" tattoo?

You generally can not go wrong with the classics. Cool tattoos that have been around and have stood the test of time. They have a strong history to them and remain classic ink for strong symbolization.

Having said that, there are a lot of modern, high quality designs that are also very cool tattoos. Artists now days have taken things to the next level. You can look through an online tattoo gallery to see some great modern designs that artists have come up with.

So what is a "cheesy" tattoo?

Typically, a cheesy tattoo tends to be one that follows trends. Have you ever noticed that suddenly it sees everyone and their brother has the same tattoo design on the same area of ​​the body? You have to stop a minute and wonder, "what were they thinking?"

They generally were not thinking, they're following. Following the current trend of the moment. An example of this was back in the 90's when you suddenly saw every guy with a chain link tattoo around their bicep. Or for females, it was the emergence of the "low back tattoo". These low back tattoos became so common, unoriginal, and cheesy, that slang terminology for them emerged such as, "tramp stamps".

Getting cool tattoos should be something personal. If your going to permanently ink your body do it with a design that you personally and honestly like for reasons of your own, not because everyone else might think it's cool.

Diana Rogers

Diana in Savannah

Savannah. The setting of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. The events that unravelled around the fascinating characters in ‘The Book’ happened 30 years ago. But Savannah still revels in larger than life people.

In the heart of the Victorian District is the Gingerbread House, home to the marvellous musician Diana Rogers. Lavender’s Blue arrived over one sultry Sunday afternoon to meet Diana in her kitchen. Exquisitely clad in oyster pink – hat, long gloves and real shell earrings to boot – she firstly entertained us with her witticisms, homemade sugared scones and a glass or two of bubbly.

Her house is a collectors’ paradise. Tables overflowing with vintage finds glisten in the scorching sunlight. Diana’s originally from Oklahoma. “All they do there is watch TV and go to church!” she howls with laughter.

Rural life wasn’t for her. A classically trained pianist and singer, her wonderfully intoxicating voice, not to mention her superlative keyboard skills, ensured that she was an instant Blues hit in New Orleans. Soon she outgrew even the jazz capital and it was off to the Big Apple.

In New York Diana deftly launched herself on the music scene. She played and sang at all the top hotels and clubs: the Waldorf Astoria, Harry’s Bar, One Fifth Avenue, Windows on the World…

Hot in demand, Diana enjoyed a long engagement at Nino’s in New York throughout the Nineties. She performed at the Madison Arms in East Hampton during the summer months. Diana was flown over to London and Cornwall to perform at private parties. She released an album of hits at the end of the Nineties featuring ‘I Know Him So Well’, ‘La Vie en Rose’ and her own composition ‘Middle Class Princess’.

In 2003 she decided it was time for a new phase of her life to begin so it was off to the Deep South. She bought a restored timber Victorian home on the pink azalea-lined East Gaston Street in Savannah.

“I still return to New York every couple of months,” she confesses. “Last time I was there I spent $2,000 on a hat. But it’s a real nice hat. My wardrobe takes up the whole top floor of the house.”

Diana has fully established herself as a firm fixture on Savannah’s music circuit. She’s performed in more than a dozen venues and can currently be heard in the basement piano bar of The Olde Pink House. In fact that’s where Lavender’s Blue first came across her. Descending the stairs from the classy restaurant above, we heard ‘Moon River’ in dulcet tones floating across the heavy evening air. Fast forward 48 hours and we are in her house.

“Come on through to the parlour,” Diana waves. Keeping her gloves on – natch – she embarks on a one woman cabaret show, jauntily weaving her way through the music of Cole Porter and George Gershwin before celebrating the present day with Andrew Lloyd Weber and John Kander.

Diana reveals, “Imelda Marcos’ daughter lives next door. And Jerry Spence, the hairdresser mentioned in The Book is a frequent visitor. ‘Honey, you can find me on page 47!’ he tells everyone he meets!”

Another neighbour, Patricia, arrives. “She was big in Washington!” Diana confides in a stage whisper. Diana plays a medley of Johnny Mercer songs. Outside, a clap of thunder resounds across the gunpowder grey sky. Rain beats down heavily on the veranda. But it doesn’t dampen the decadent party spirit indoors.

Leopold, a grand tortoiseshell cat appears at the parlour door. “She guards the house!” exclaims Diana. The cat got her name before her gender was determined at the vets. “My workman Mr Tiles is built like Tarzan! He was upstairs doing work when I was away and he rang me sayin’, ‘I can’t get down the stairs! Your cat won’t let me past!’ Anyway, he had to jump out the bedroom window and slide down the porch roof!”

As we say our goodbyes late afternoon, Diana’s phone rings. More guests arrive. The party is just getting started. A competitive cacophony of church bells and thunder erupts but it goes unnoticed, drowned out by the echo of laughter, clinking of glasses and Diana upping the tempo with ‘All That Jazz’.

Meeting Your Filipino Bride and Visiting the Philippines – Things to Be Aware Of

1. These are things you will not have to worry about if you are staying in a motel. However if you go out to visit your potential brides family or decide to attend a fiesta you should be aware of this.The Philippines is still considered a third world country even though we do have modern facilities here. Most of the population is poor by western standards. We buy our drinking water because the well water is not safe to drink. Even the city water that most do drink in the cities I do not drink because of heavy chlorination in it. Water is very inexpensive to buy and there are water filter stations all over the city. The other thing is whats known as the Filipino toilet. most all Filipino household have this kind of toilet which consists of just the bowl its self. There is usually no running water so there is no need for a tank. They use a large bucket filled with water with a smaller pail used for flushing. Toilet paper is optional so do not count on it. Many use the soap and water method rather than buying toilet paper at all. This is also how you will find most public restrooms. A word of advice. If your out all day. Bring your own TP.

2. I have seen other sites that tout how their women speak excellent English. Most educated people in this country do speak and understand quite a bit of English. However even though they are taught English from grade school they mainly speak their native language when they communicate with each other. What I am trying to get across is being patient with their understanding of you and you of them. The fact is they are taught basic English skills and will not know many of the slang terms we use. Its like comparing the English language from Great Britain to English in the US. The language is mostly the same but we have to work at understanding each other when we first encounter someone from Great Britain. The same applies here. My wife speaks excellent English, Japanese plus 2 dialects of the Filipino language. However there have been times when she said she understood me and she thought she did but she did not understand 1 word in the statement and that was the word thatave the statement its meaning. Then it turned into a much larger misunderstanding. My point is to be patient and double check her understanding of your more important conversations. This will save you from a lot of potential arguments down the road.

3. We live in the tropics. Come prepared for that. Those men that come from any where closer to equatorial areas will be more used to the climate here. I lived in Michigan when I lived in the states so it has been a little bit of an adjustment for me. I enjoy the 80-90 degree weather but being out in the direct sun I would not recommend without a bunch of sun screen. Bring plenty of that if you intend on being out in the sun a lot.

The chances of you coming here during Typhoon season is 50-50. Typhoon season is just like hurricane season in the US. However the difference is we live on an island and there is not much land to slow these storms down so when they hit its eventful to say the least. We are lucky to be in somewhat of a protected area and very rarely have been hit by the eye of a storm but we do get our share of the rain from the tail ends of these storms. The majority of these storms stay off to the north and we are spared the brutal part of them. I was here for the typhoon Frank that hit here in 2008. That typhoon was what they call a 100 year storm because in my father in laws entire life he does not remember being directly hit by a typhoon on the island and he is almost 70 yrs old. I have since found out that we have been hit by much smaller storms and that was the reason not too many people remember them. They did not cause but half the destruction of typhoon Frank.

4. Take a word of advise and DO NOT FALL IN LOVE ONLINE. Keep your options open. You may easily have feelings for any number of the women we introduce you to. You really must wait until you meet these women face to face before you make any sort of life changing decisions. We do everything possible to insure these women are nice, educated and respectable but we cant be constantly by their side to double check. The choice is absolutely yours but we have found that most times the person one thinks will be that special one. (The one they fall in love with online) is not the person they end up choosing in the end.

5. Do not be misled by pictures. Make sure you see them in a web cam. Most times the pictures that women have of themselves were taken by them self. Most of which are not flattering if you know what I mean. I have always believed that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the plain facts are that even some of Hollywood's most beautiful actresses can look like death warmed over without the professional makeup. Keep an open mind on this. As you can see my wife is quite beautiful but when we first met online the pictures she used were not very attractive. We do take a major of the first pictures we have of these girls so we do the best we can to catch the natural look but in all honesty I am not a pro. We will also be posting any pictures that the women send us after they have been accepted to the site. I'm sure that most all of them will have access to a web cam when you talk with them online and you will see their true look there.

6. I really do not want to be discouraging to anyone who really wants to find their true love but. Having said that one needs to be realistic about getting a potential bride back to the states or home country. There are many requirements for someone who wants to bring a foreign wife or family back to their native country. I am most familiar with the requirements of the US so I will explain those for now. However we do provide visa services with any package tour so we do have other countries requirements on file. To put it simply you need to prove that you will be able to support your new bride. The US government does not want her to end up being a burden on the state so you have to guarantee her support. In short you should bring in at least $ 20000.00 a year before taxes. There is a formula that use and its 125% of poverty level income for the size of your family. What that means is if you have a family of 4 including you your wife and 2 kids of yours from a previous marriage then that number would go up to around $ 25000.00 per year before taxes. It depends on where you live also.

7. Refrain from sending any of these women money. As I said earlier the majority of the population is poor so even though these girls hold good jobs does not mean they could not use extra money for them or their family. Its tempting to do because a dollar goes really far here and you would not need to send very much to help them out. However if you start sending one money you might feel informed and it can easily turn into a snowball affect. As any caring husband would do to help out his family if you find someone special, get married and then want to help their family then by all means help but do not feel obliged to when you are first getting to know them.

For example an English friend of mine who met and married his wife in England has a large family here in Iloilo. The majority of this extended family lived next to a river not far from here. When typhoon Frank came through in 2008 the whole family was literally washed away. Luckily no one died but they literally had only the cloths on their backs left. My friend decided to buy them a plot of land that was further away from the river to insure that would not happen again and they all live there now. About 25 people if I remember correctly. Of course they were all very thankful and I met them all when they were working on his house when he needed some construction done. Some refused to be paid for the work because of the gesture he had done for them, even though they needed the money. Of course he forced them to take it anyway.