I get many clients who come to be because they have found that they can not seem to stick with their resolutions or reach their goals and they ask my help in figuring out why and helping them break through their barriers. I thought you all might benefit from the following suggestions and thoughts.
This is a good time to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. These limiting topics tend to be repeated as a result of fear: fear of change, fear of failure, or even worse, fear of success. And maybe that was okay in the past, maybe you needed that fear for a while for any number of reasons, but is not it time to let go and move beyond the fear now? Is not it time for you to move into the happy, healthy and joyous life that you deserve?
Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? You know, those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing opportunities that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams, blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less: less in the current state of your finances, relationships, career and health because you are afraid of failing, afraid of disappointment.
One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain, we have chosen, instead, to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but, for the most part, we are afraid to dream, afraid to believe and afraid to hope.
As children we were free to play, pretend and let our imaginations soar. But, as we grew older, we were told to leave those dreams behind. We were told to grow up, stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world, the world of "adults". Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way way you will not be disappointed.
As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents, friends and lovers live this kind of life, many of us consciously and subconsciously came to the conclusion that, in order to be an adult, have a reasonably happy life, and grow up, we are better off not wanting too much and most definitely we'd better not play. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. We grow afraid of disappointment and embroidered fear and limitation. But remember this: "If you do not think about the future, you can not have one." ~ John Galsworthy
The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us, the more vibrant and alive we become, the more connected we feel, and life just gets better and better. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear:
1. If you have not done so already, write down your goals and if you did write them down, get out your list and read it again.
2. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. Be honest. Do not keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it, or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. Your goals must be your very own. Something that is important to you right now. There is no reason you can not add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right.
3. Review the remaining list and set intermediate steps towards your goals that help you work up to them. As an example, if your goal is to run a marathon, set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve.
4. Remember the Power of Affirmations. Say affirmations daily!
If you have not already discovered this, affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. When you say your affirmations out loud, you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and does not differiate between fact or fiction, so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said, making it easier to create a visual image in your mind.
Here are some suggestions on working with affirmations:
Say and / or write your affirmations out several times a day. When you do this, actually use the moment to visualize what you are saying or writing.
State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious is quite literal. If you say something like "I'm going to quit smoking." Or "I will lose weight." the message sent to your mind, the reality created is that you will get there someday, but not necessarily now. You want your subconscious to believe it is happening now so use phrases like "I am a non-smoker" or "I am thin and fit."
State your affirmations in the positive. Always create an image of what you want in your life, not what you want to avoid.
Be specific. Since your subconscious is an excellent tool for creating reality, be clear and exact about the reality you say you want.
Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. If it does not make you slightly uncomfortable or make you think "yeah, right …" when you first say it, then you've picked an affirmation that is not right for you. You've chosen something too easy to acquire. Do not let fear hold you back.
Revise your affirmations as needed to make sure they fit what your current goals are especially as you move further and further away from fear and your goals get bigger and better.
5. Remember To Enlist Support: Many of us are related to ask for help and support, even though we would gladly give it if asked. Do not be afraid to talk to or call a friend, parent, life coach or whomever and ask for support.