As long as there have been prisoners, there have been prison workouts. As common to correctional facilities as beating up the new guy on the first day and avoiding dropped soap, prisoners have been building better muscles in confined spaces. Here are some reasons why the Prison Workout works:
1) Unlimited Time – Time is the only thing you have. You can spend four hours building better muscles because you’ve got nothing else to do!
2) Confined Space – In prison, ambivalence and indecisiveness do not exist. You can’t perseverate on whether or not to hit the gym or run the beach. You’re already at the gym, and you can never leave.
3) Creativity Required – with no equipment and no open space for running, it’s just you in a room, face to face with your potential.
4) You are the Steppenwolfe – A lone soldier, a man on a mission of fitness. Better muscles and a haunted past, what more is a lady looking for?
So the prison workout has its perks, but most of us don’t want to commit crimes and go to jail simply for the benefit of better muscles. Not to fear, the prison workout has many practical applications in the real world. This is a guide that uses the concepts of the prison workout to create a fitness routine you can practice in the confines of your bedroom.
The Burpee
Get ready for some pain. The burpee is a staple of the prison workout. Do 20 descending sets and you’ll have better muscles in no time. Here’s the process:
From a standing position, drop to a squat. Place your hands on the floor and spring back to a push up position. Do the push up. Jump back to a squat and then spring up into the air bringing your knees up to your chest. Do this 20 times. Take a breather then do 19 more. Then do 18, then 17, and so on. You’ll feel the prison workout burn.
Upper Body
The Card Game – This prison workout challenge requires a deck of playing cards and a hat. Sit across the room from the hat and flip cards toward it. Any time you miss and a card lands face up, do as many push ups as the card reads (face cards are 10). Work your way through a whole deck and you’ll be working your way to some serious ripped abs and pectorals. And remember to keep your body level, no butts in the air (especially for actual prisoners).
Tricep Prison Workout – This is a simple dip. Place your hands on a chair, bed, or sink, and dip your body toward the ground.
Lower Body
Squat Leap – This is basically a burpee without the push up. Do a squat and spring upward. This works the quads.
Jump Lunge – Lower your body into a lunge position, weight on the bent leg with the other leg stabilizing behind. Jump into the air and switch the position of your feet. Repeat as fast as possible.
Core
The Prisoner’s Plank – Drop to a push up position, body rigid and straight. Now hold this position for three minutes. It’s not so easy unless you’ve got washboard abs.
For the Extreme Prisoner
Handstand Push-ups – You may have seen Nick Cage squeezing these out in Con-Air. The concept is simple, Do a handstand-you can brace your feet against a wall for support-then lower your head to the floor and push back upwards. You will build better triceps and shoulder muscles.
The Wall Squat – Back against a wall, lower your body until your upper and lower legs form a 90 degree angle. Hold this position as long as you can. Sounds simple? Try it for 5 minutes. That’s the prison workout way.
The prison workout fits perfectly into the Primal Blueprint, a health plan designed to maximize strength and good nutrition for those looking for simpler, natural alternatives to health in the modern world.