Sharing Expenses on a Date – Who Should Pay?

These days you might hear women talking about the freedom they experience by paying for themselves when going on a date. With these particular women they have made the decision to pay not based on whether the man they are with can afford it or not. When the woman pays for herself she is viewing it as asserting her equality. This enables her to share in the decision making of the date and she therefore won’t feel guilty or obligated in any way. If she just wants to go home early and be alone she has the prerogative. Also, a woman that pays her own way might feel more able to call up a man and ask for a date, thus becoming his partner for the evening instead of just his guest.

Though there are some women that want to share the financial matters of a relationship by paying their share of expenses, if they in fact are earning less than their male counterparts (and the sad fact is that many women still earn less than men on average) they often will not be able to afford to. When you’re talking about even $50 for an evening out, that may be nothing for a man to pay. But for that may account for a pretty large chunk of a woman’s weekly salary, especially if she is only working part time or going to school. Some women believe sharing the expenses has to come first, and then equal pay will follow. Others make a the argument that until women are paid equally with men, they shouldn’t be expected to pay the same share of expenses as a man when on a date.

Many women simply don’t want to give up the special feelings they have when they are treated to a night on the town. And they really shouldn’t be made to. It should be pleasurable for a man to take a woman out as well, he should feel happy to pay for things for the opportunity to share some time with the woman. Instead of splitting everything down the middle, a woman can allow herself to be treated a few times, and then she can reciprocate by treating the man out for a night of fun. This way both parties get to feel good about treating the other.

But if there is a great big difference between how much the man makes and how much the woman makes then it should be expected that the man would cover most of the expenses. These sort of expenses should be weighted according to the different percentages that each makes. If the man makes twice as much as the woman he should cover the expenses twice as much.

A man that wants a woman to start sharing expenses would be wise to cover the expenses on the first few dates until he can know with a little bit of certainty how she will react to the request. Then, with tact, he can say that it is burdensome to always be the bearer of all of the expenses and that he would like to see the relationship move to a more equal basis. If his budget is tight he might suggest that they could have more extravagant outings if they shared expenses. Most sensible women would not be offended by this and would look forward to more classy evenings.