Should You Masturbate Before Going Out on a Date?

If you’ve seen the movie There’s Something About Mary, you’re probably familiar with the conversation between Ben Stiller and Chris Elliott about “The Loaded Gun Theory”.

Essentially, the premise is that when you go out on a date with a woman, it’s probably a good idea to masturbate rather than show up at her doorstep with only one thing on your mind.

Well, when this particular topic came up in conversation recently (excuse the unintended pun) I decided to do a bit of research.

As it turns out, assuming you word your Google search in a way that doesn’t result in a barrage of “adult” sites, you’ll quickly find that almost everyone who has thought about the topic du jour has come to the same conclusion: It’s best to masturbate before going on a hot date.

The reasons cited are generally twofold: 

1)   It takes the “pressure” off

2)   If something physical WERE to happen on the date, you’d be less likely to experience premature ejaculation.

Granted, conventional wisdom would point to this all being solid logic.  But not so fast.

The problem with “conventional wisdom”, as so eloquently pointed out by Freakonomics author Steven Levitt, is that it usually is based on the EASIEST conclusion to draw rather than what may perhaps be the CORRECT one.

And the more I consider the “Loaded Gun Theory”, the more I’m beginning to believe there’s more to think about than what’s on the surface.

In fact, I’d like to challenge you to consider if it’s actually best to store it up for a few days before a particularly anticipated meeting with a woman.  Here’s why.

First of all, I have a sneaking suspicion that when we as guys are physically geared up for sexual excitement, we just may radiate more of a sexual (read: “masculine”) presence physiologically.

Forget “pheromone spray”, gentlemen. My gut feeling is that when you’re flat out “in the mood”, women can somehow sense that…and the woman in them “wakes up” physiologically.

As I said, I really couldn’t find anything to support this hypothesis on Google, but consider some of the buzz surrounding MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) based on their various possible states of sexual readiness, hormone levels, etc.

Indeed, women tend to spend more time thinking about this sort of thing, and some of the ideas that have gained traction over the years include how women tend to have a certain “glow” about them when pregnant, and how when a woman is at her MOST FERTILE point in her monthly cycle she’s ALSO at her sexual peak…even, perhaps, as unconsciously acknowledged my men around her.

So here it is: Considering we’re all human beings here, why wouldn’t a similar but gender-specific set of premises hold true for us as men?

Further, I think that if you’re more sexually tuned up in the moment, you’re more likely to feel that much more excitement in your soul when engaging an attractive woman on a date. And that kind of energy can lead to some serious fireworks (the key word being “lead”, as always).

The analogy of what happens when you go grocery shopping while hungry may not be far off here.   If you’ve just visited an “all you can eat” buffet you’re more likely to postpone hitting the supermarket until tomorrow.

But if you missed lunch and are starving, you probably can’t wait to go food shopping.

I’ve actually run the ideas I’ve just described by several women over the last few days, and they ALL agreed with me…ASSUMING the guy was mature enough to stay in control of things.

It goes like this: Women actually LOVE IT when a man radiates primal sexuality on a date. 

What they DON’T love is when guys act like Neanderthals. They don’t like feeling pressured and/or “used”.


So I have a feeling that “personal control” may in fact be the kicker here.

Let’s face it; if you are hungry when you hit the grocery store you may spend twice as much money on stuff you’ll probably never get around to eating before it goes bad. But ONLY if you lack discipline.

And yes, if you’re about ready to drill a hole in your mattress by the time you meet up with a woman, you may have “tunnel vision” and come off as too sex-focused or even DESPERATE when you’re with her.

But again…that will ONLY hold true if you lack discipline.

What we have here, gentlemen, could actually be a very real LITMUS TEST by which we can measure whether or not we have MASTERY over our own sexuality or not.

That’s heavy duty, isn’t it?

If you can’t handle the heat, then yes…you’d probably better masturbate before a date.

But that would be your loss. 

Because considering that women are actually ROCKED TO THE CORE by being in the presence of a man who is both sexually charged and self-disciplined, if you CAN keep your composure when in that state you might very well have a WILDLY POWERFUL advantage over most other guys out there.

And I’m not going to discount that this may be yet another piece of the puzzle as to why older guys can attract younger women who think guys their own age are “so immature”.

As for the premature ejaculation part of the argument, by the way, even that may be less of an issue than you think. 

Contrary to popular belief (there’s that “conventional wisdom” again), a woman may actually be FLATTERED if you blast off quickly your first time together. I can guarantee it beats the opposite scenario.

Besides, if she’s that hot, don’t you think you’d have a “second round” in you somewhere?

What do you think? Can you field-test everything we’re talking about here without freaking out? Can you believe that a woman may in fact respond to you in a completely new and powerful way?

At the very least, I can assure you that if you CAN handle all of this and apply it, you’ll be operating at a level that most guys can’t touch. And you’ll probably enjoy your dates that much more, all the while becoming the newly crowned world champ at ramping up sexual tension.

After all, what guy DOESN’T want to gain every available advantage when it comes to separating himself from the “herd” and realizing the ability to attract the very highest quality women on Earth?