It is not always easy to recognize a stalker as they can have many faces and profiles. They can appear to be the most charming person in the world while covering very well an insecure and obsessive personality.
Many victims blame themselves (me included) for not seeing past the facade but they should know that these guys can be masters at the game of deception.
Smarter Than You Think!
What often makes them so hard to catch is the fact that they are usually very intelligent. Instead of using this wealth of brainpower for good in the world they choose to harness it to conjure up clever ways to make their victim squirm. They learn very quickly how to keep the law at a distance so they can keep pursuing the object of their desire. To say they are CALCULATED is an understatement. They are driven, determined and relentless in their insatiable need to claim what they believe to be their own.
From the moment they focus their attention on you (their victim) every fiber in their being works tirelessly to bring you to your knees and surrender your life to them.
Spotting The Serial Stalker
The most common stalker is some one you know and may even have had a relationship with. (Simple obsessional) They can be very dangerous as they suffer from:
– Low self-esteem
– Insecurities
– Intense Jealousy
– Narcissism
– Infatuation
They can cry one minute then stamp their feet with rage the next. They are highly volatile and capable of hurting you their victim if they feel you have offended them in any way. When you are saying NO to them they think you are saying yes because in their deluded mind they believe you love them too. Any contact with them is interpreted as interest, which makes it very hard for the victim of the Romeo style stalker.
Rejection Fallout!
Once they realize they are being REJECTED they can be like a giant wave crashing down on your life with no regard for the damage they cause. During this stalker reign of terror it is not unusual for a victim to retreat within the 4 walls of their home and curl up into a little ball hoping that the stalker will take pity on them and back off.
Once a stalker believes he has you cornered he can unleash every dirty trick in the book to make you believe there is no way out.
Classic stalking behavior has one common denominator. To make you feel HELPLESS!
Stalker Tsunami
If you can say yes to the following signs of stalking behavior you will need to contact the police as soon as possible.
1. Constant phone calls, emails and texts even though you have made it clear you want nothing more to do with them.
2. Persistent calls and unannounced visits to your work place.
3. They send you gifts such as flowers and sometimes-bizarre items that can be distressing. If they are trying to send you a message they may send you hair from your pet dog as a warning. Harming a person’s pet is very common and cowardly.
4. Follow you by car or on foot. A stalker finds it hard to let their victim out of their sight but it is also a way to intimidate you.
5. Direct threats.
6. Destruction of property. A victim’s car seems to be a favorite. (Slashing the tyres and keying the paint work).
7. Manipulative behavior where the stalker spreads gossip about you in a bid to defame your character and reputation.
8. Making you their object (objectification) so that when they are angry they can justify their cruel actions and not be forced to feel any empathy or compassion for you the victim.
In my time on this earth I have encountered all of the above and I have to tell you things were very tough for me during my own personal stalker battle.
They say it takes all sorts to make a world but I am sure any person who has or is being stalked will agree we could do without this sort in our world.
The U.S has stalking laws which is good new for victims but many countries still don’t recognize stalking which makes it too easy for these criminals to hurt people. If your stalker is an EX partner then the police in many parts still see it a domestic abuse situation and not enough gets done.
Even though I have stood as tall as I can against a long-term stalker I look forward to the day when countries follow the lead of America and take stalking a lot more seriously.
Stick Together
As women the best thing we can do is offer each other support. There is safety in numbers and if we keep communicating with each other we never have to feel alone in our own stalking situation. My motto is STAY STRONG and never let the bad guys win.