Social Skills – Living and Surviving in Society

From the time we are very young we begin to learn the basics in social skills, which are, learning how to live with, communicate with, and get along with the people around you. If you have siblings, those basic skills come into play quite quickly; sharing of toys and sharing a room with a brother or sister. As we grow older and begin school, those skills become even more important as you must now share your space with many more people. Children whom have not been properly prepared for such an event may find it difficult to adjust to this new society that they have become a part of.

To define the meaning of proper social skills you would have to consider the environment or society you are living in. What works in one society does not need to work in another; none-the-less, basic social skills are imperative to live a happy and enjoyable life among others in your community, workplace, and home life. It is, in a nut shell, the manner at which we participate and conduct ourselves within society; what is right and what is wrong relating to the society in which you live.

In order to fit into society, society expects each person to act in a manner that does not go against the social norms. Being rude to another person, cursing in public, disrespectful behavior are all negative aspects of not having proper social skills. The greater part of most societies learn these skills early in life and they are transported over into their adult life; however, there are some who tend to go against the grain of society and lack the social skills that most of us do not even have to think about; we just know how to act properly. There are also people who have a basic understanding of this concept, but are not sure how to become better at practicing their social skills in public situations.

When employers interview people, they are not just looking at their credentials; they are evaluating how they interact with the employer. They look for signs and ask questions relating to certain topics requiring a social interaction to see if the one being interviewed has a good understanding of social skills as to how they would handle a delicate situation. The lack of such skills could mean the difference in getting the job or not getting the job; one must be able to conduct themselves properly and respectfully in the work place and among others in society.

An excellent way to fine tune your social skills is to go to a public place and sit quietly as people mingle about. Examine how they communicate with each other in a social setting. In doing this exercise it will seem very routine until someone shows a behavior that is socially unacceptable; they will be acting outside the norms of society.

Having good social skills gives you an advantage in society; people are attracted to those who display proper social behavior and do not feel uncomfortable in engaging in conversation with you. Having proper social skills is simply knowing how to be respectful, courteous, and understanding what society considers as the norm.

Over Coming the Fear of Moving

The fear of relocating is a real and devastating problem for some people. The anxiety of moving to a new state, town or even a new house can be overwhelming to some.

As hard as it might be to believe, there are tens of thousands of people who suffer from the fear of moving, or Tropophobia as it is called. It is a very real, diagnosable disorder that if left unchecked can have devastating consequences for those that suffer.

Tropophobia, is known by a number of names including the most common ones such as Fear of Moving, and Fear of Making Changes. To those that have never experienced any type of moving anxiety it might be hard to understand exactly how debilitating this disorder can be. For those that have at least been slightly awkward about moving to a new location, it would be a bit easier to understand how a disorder such as Tropophobia can be so debilitating, how it can have such a large impact on quality of life for those that suffer.

Some people live in the same state, the same town, even the same house their own life and never think about or have need to even considering moving to a new location. Their lives are well rounded and well adjusted to their particular surroundings and they lead happy full lives. But there are those that will live with a fear, a fear of change, a fear that keeps them trapped in the same house, the same town, the same state, for years or even a lifetime.

Studies have revealed, especially in larger metropolitan areas such as New York and Los Angelis that people live their own life in the same house, never venturing outside a mentally determined safe zone. Be that a borough area such as Brooklyn New York, or a neighborhood within that area. Stories continues to surface about people who know little about the world around them because they suffer from severe Tropophobia.

Trying to explain the thoughts and feelings of those that suffer is very difficult to put into words to give readers the ability to understand. It might be easier to understand if one were to state it like this. Imagine standing on a rocky cliff, with your feet already half way over the edge. Imagine looking down from that cliff and not being able to see the bottom, but only darkness as the distance falls away benefit your gaze. Imagine kicking a stone over the edge and waiting for the report of its hitting bottom, but never listening it.

Now imagine if you will, that the world tells you that a better, more abundant life is right in front of you only a few steps away and all you must do is take a few more steps past the edge, from that edge you have been standing on, which from your point of view is the only stable ground you have left before falling into a bottomless pit.

Of course it's not quite that simplistic. To characterize in all the facets that make up the disorder would of course show it to be much more multi-dimensional. But the above illustration serves as an example for reference of thought.

Fear of Moving has the ability to devastate not only the life of the one who superserts it, but also those lives around that person as well. Suffering from Tropophobia can cause loss of job opportunities or advances or even loss of a career. If a spouse needs to relocate because of job, it can cause severe financial problems far beyond the normal pressures of such an event. Fear of moving, or fear of change can have not only devastating psychological effects, but damaging physical effects as a result of the anxiety as well.

Tropophobia is not always easy to spot as a disorder. Many people who have fear of moving do not realize it. They may have developed a sophisticated method of coping with the disorder that is capable of rationalizing any and all decisions that they make in resistance to making change, reasons that may on the surface sound and look totally convincing. But when the rationalization runs out, and a problem is finally recognized, there is hope.

The hope is in that like every other phobia, Tropophobia can be treated, it can be over come.

Many times taking the first small step in treating it, will lead to giant steps forward in a very short time. In other cases, slow methodical steps towards treatment and recovery are needed. There are agencies and support groups that can help. If you suffer or know of someone who suffers from fear of moving, do not let it be in control. Take control and get the help needed to overcome and live a better life. The first step is realizing the fear, and the second is to take action against that fear.

10 Tips for Hosting an Elegant Denim and Diamonds Party With Pizzazz

Staying at home in lieu of going on an exciting vacation doesn’t need to be boring. Gather your friends and family and get creative for various ways to entertain in your home. The latest hot party idea is an elegant Denim and Diamonds party. What exactly is a Denim and Diamonds Party? Use your imagination to get as elegant or country as you’d like, but a Denim and Diamonds party is an upscale event with great food, drink and entertainment. Guests are asked to wear casual attire such as denim jeans, but are encouraged to ‘dress it up’ by accessorizing with diamond-like sparkle (aka rhinestones!). Venues can include your home, backyard or rented elegant country estates for grand affairs or fundraisers.

Tip 1: Use What You Already Have on Hand

When you host an at-home Denim and Diamonds party, you need to get creative. There’s no sense in going out and buying a lot of items that you will never use again. Look around your home, basement and garage to see what you can reinvent or repurpose for your party needs. Outdoor tables can become indoor furniture with an inexpensive floor length fabric covering to meet your theme. Spend wisely on a few key items you need to pack a lot of punch for your dollar. Check out discount stores and clearance sections at more upscale stores to secure particular finds. Vases for table settings can be mix and match as can table and drink ware.

Tip 2: Choose Your Theme Colors

With a Denim and Diamonds Party – blue, white and anything that sparkles is a must-have! Integrate your colors into your table coverings and decorations. Check out craft super-stores to add sparkle to your table or buffet. Choose inexpensive glass stones, rhinestones or crystals and toss amongst your table settings to catch and reflect light from your table top candles. Colors for a denim and diamonds party can extend to your decorations, invitations, centerpieces and party favors as well.

Tip 3: Plan Ahead

Manage you time carefully and don’t put off shopping or decorating until the day before your party. Decide on your décor and estimate food and seating requirements at least a week or more ahead of time. If you need to engage a party rental service for tables, chairs or other food service items, plan this at least 2 weeks ahead and make your reservations with the rental company. Prepare as many food items as possible in advance – this will reduce your stress level and help you enjoy your own Denim and Diamonds party! Planning on grilling outdoors? Grill items ahead of time and keep in your oven on ‘warm’ so items can be ready when your hungry guests arrive.

Tip 4: No Time for Sit Down Dinner? Think Buffet!

Let’s face it, sit down dinners are nice when you are inviting only 3-4 close friends over for an intimate gathering. Hosting a party for 20+ requires fast, easy service of a buffet style setup. Presentation can be fun for a buffet. Create elevated levels by placing pots upside down beneath your table covering to create a staggered look for your culinary offerings. This is practical too and allows your guests to more easily reach for items around a crowded buffet table. Use baskets lined with denim-like towels for your biscuits/breads. Disperse country-themed sparkling items such as inexpensive crystals among your serving platters for extra pizzazz!

Tip 5: Candlelight and Fresh Flowers Are a Must

Whether you are hosting your party indoors or outdoors, candles add a special flair and ambiance. If outdoors, add floating candles to your pool. Cluster candles of varying height, colors and widths on your tables and walkways to create ambient lighting for your guests to enjoy. Citronella candles are available in a host of colors and styles to provide functional and beautiful purpose for keeping bugs at bay and guest comfortable.

Fresh flowers are a treat no matter what the occasion. But there is no need to splurge as fresh arrangements can get costly. Roll up your sleeves and check out your garden… Black Eyed Susans, Daylillies, Sweet Peas, and Butterfly Bushes and evergreen branches, offer inexpensive but fragrant bouquets. Place a glass in a cowboy boot and arrange your cut flowers for a true Denim and Diamonds centerpiece! Supplement smaller arrangements in smaller conversation areas with a few store-bought white roses.

Tip 6: Bring the Indoors – Outside or the Outdoors – Inside

You’ll want to pamper your guests even while outdoors. Add comfortable throw pillows to your patio chairs and pair you indoor dining room chairs with your outdoor country furniture. Crystal pitchers, silver platters and other metal (pewter) bowls make for an elegant presentation for beverages and appetizers. Need a little outdoors… inside? Add various evergreen branches to your arrangements or consider using outdoor decorative lighting such as string lights indoors to complement your Denim and Diamonds Party theme.

Tip 7: Make It Personal

It’s your party so add your own personal flair! Email is a convenient communication tool but a Denim and Diamonds Party calls for a more elegant strategy. Handwritten, themed invitations fit the bill for what to send to your guests. Your guests will be excited when they receive your Denim and Diamonds inspired invitation (invites shaped like denim Levi’s pocket complete with red tag and all?). Add some ‘bling’ to get the ‘diamonds’ theme going by using crystals and add-ons available in scrapbooking supply stores and craft super stores.

Tip 8: Keep It Cool

Backyard Denim and Diamond parties can get hot in the summer and cold in the spring or fall. Secure small fans with misters and camoflauge behind shrubbery and plants in your backyard. Use portable propane powered table top heaters and provide piles of blankets (western printed please!) to keep your guests comfortable for hours.

Tip 9: Always Have a Plan B

Always have a contingency plan because Mother Nature can be unpredictable despite your best plans for your Denim and Diamonds event. Keep your supplies well stocked for you last minute needs and plan ahead for what you will do if you need to move the party indoors due to inclement weather. Outdoor seating may be moved indoors and accented with throw pillows. Remember – these are your friends and they’ll have fun despite the weather!

Tip 10: Ask for Help if You Need It

Don’t be afraid to hire a party planner to consult with you on your plans prior to your party. If you can’t afford the planning – hire them to advise you on ideas, tips and decorating to help you organize and make it happen on your own. Keep it Simple! Hearty appetizers, classy cocktails and knock out decorations will make for a fun, stress free time for your elegant Denim and Diamonds party event!

The Easiest Way to Measure for a Fireplace Grate

Making sure you have the correct measurements is a vital process when purchasing a brand-new fireplace grate. We will walk through the process to obtain the right measurements for a new fireplace grate.

You will need a few things to help you:

Measuring Tape for correct measurements, paper to write those measurements on and a pen or pencil to write with, and depending on the light levels in your room, a flashlight might help. We also recommend that you wear some clothing that you don’t mind getting dirty, because there is a good chance you will get dirty and sometimes that soot is hard to get out of your clothing.

Step 1 – Measuring the Width:

Measure the width of your fireplace opening in the very back of your fireplace and write this measurement down. Make sure to get as far back as possible for the most precise dimensions, this is where the flashlight might be helpful.

Measure the width of your fireplace opening at the front of your fireplace and write this measurement down.

Now that you have both the back width and front width, deduct 6 inches from each dimension. If, for example, your front width is 42 inches, then you would subtract 6 inches, which would offer you a final width of 36 inches. If the rear width is of 38 3/4, you would round to the next whole number then subtract 6 inches for the final 32 inches.

You will need the rear width to make sure you are purchasing the right grate size, as they can be found in numerous various back widths. Some fireplaces have a radical taper and some fireplaces have no taper at all.

NOTE: The most common mistake when ordering a fireplace grate is to only look at the front width and ignore the rear width in a tapered fireplace. This typically ends up in a costly return after paying shipping. Be sure to confirm that all measurements before ordering.

Keep in mind that fireplace grates are categorized by their front width, you may need to look at several sizes before you find one that will fit your fireplace.

Step 2 – Measuring the Depth:

Measure the depth of your fireplace from the fireplace door, or from the beginning of the fireplace opening and write this measurement down.

Now that you have your depth dimension, deduct 6 inches from this measurement.

Ideally, you want to have about 3″ on all sides of the grate to ensure appropriate feature & air flow.

Step 3 – Find your Grate:

With these dimensions, you now have a guide to start searching for a new fireplace grate! We hope this short article was valuable to you.

Sanitation in the Workplace: Prioritizing Health and Safety

There are some factors that should be considered for a business to run smoothly and for goals to be met fully. It can be a challenging task for a business owner to ensure that all of the factors such as the finances, equipment and supplies, as well as the employees are working together. Yet, one of the critical factors that should be taken into consideration is the health and safety of all the employees working for you, in any way. There are some precautions that you need to do in making sure that employees are safe and they know how to keep their self secure and protected. Also, everyone should be trained on how to deal with unexpected situations.

For a business venture to run smoothly, one of the things you can do is to be able to create and maintain a positive work environment where everyone can work smoothly. The workplace can be more inviting to customers and clients if they see that every employee is having fun doing their jobs through their happy expressions. Having employees enjoy their work can also make them be more productive and accomplish their tasks faster. Stress is eliminated if one works in a workplace having positive vibes. Thus, employees can be more motivated to do their tasks and enjoy every bit of time that they work.

The health and safety of everyone can be acquitted through sanitation, which is one of the factors. One way to sanitize the work environment is to provide the area with products for hygiene such as sanitizers to ensure that the spread of germs is avoided at any means possible. One example is during the winter season. At this time, there is a high probability that employees get illnesses such as colds. So, sanitation is needed in order for germs not to spread more and to keep everyone safe from acquiring some illnesses. Another way of keeping the workplace and employees safe is to have labels. Say, there are hazardous materials in the workplace; every employee should have made aware about it.

In cases that your business is on construction, make sure that every worker is provided with all the safety equipment as they work. They should always wear the appropriate attire for the job. By doing so, you can make sure that they are safe from getting any injury as they work. There should also be signs on danger areas for everyone to be aware.

Of course, there is also a need for the management to have employees trained on how to react during emergency situations. There may be unexpected situations such as earthquake that might happen so employees should be trained on how to deal with situations as such.

A business can be successful if every aspect is checked and maintained. One of the factors that can greatly affect the business is the employees. Thus, maintaining the health and safety of employees is a need. This can be done in many ways such as sanitation as well as giving them training in order to deal with unexpected situations right.

A Look Back At Fashionable Kid's Clothing Of The 60's, 70's and 80's

Fashionable kid's clothing has changed through the years. Fashionable kid's clothing reflects what is fashionable in adult clothing at the time. There have been a lot of changes that took place in the clothing styles of fashionable kid's clothing.

Fashionable kids clothing in the 60's included very short dresses on children until they reached their middle school years. Little girls wore dresses that just barely covered their underwear during these years. Today most little girls wear dresses that come to somewhere around their knees.

Little boys wore denim jeans and white tee-shirts during the 60's. The bottom of the trousers was to be roled up to create a cuff and the tee-shirt needed to be white with a rounded collar. They generally wore black canvas tennis shoes and black belts with this ensemble. Even though they had on tee-shirts they tucked the shirt into the trousers so the belt would show.

Little girl's wore black and white saddle oxfords for shoes in the 60's. They also wore Mary Jane style shoes that had a strap that reached over the arch of their foot and buckled on the side. They were black shoes in the fall and winter months of the year and white shoes in the spring and summer months of the year.

In the 70's most children did not change their style of dress much even though the hippie look was becoming popular. It was not popular for small children to wear bell bottom jeans or tie-dyed shirts. The little girl dresses remained shorts and they wore matching bloomers under the dresses so that their undergarments were not seen.

Until the 80's all little girls wore a tee-shirt that had no sleeves and their underwear under all envelopes. These tee-shirts were the first camisoles that girls wore and were designed to keep you from seeing their skin when their shirts were thin.

The 80's was a time when most girls got up dresses absolutely. They wore pants, brightly colored leg warmers, shirts that were over-sized, and a wide variety of foot wear. Tight leggings and over-sized shirts were the fashion rage, and almost every girl was trying to make their hair stand out as much as possible. They teased their hair, sprayed it with hair spray, and held it in place with wild colored headbands. Satin jackets were very fashionable as were really short shorts.

Fashionable kid's clothing of the 60's, 70's & 80's, are what children wear for Halloween costumes today.

My Wife Cheated on Me While Drunk – It Was Just Once, But I Can’t Let It Go

Did your wife cheat on you while under the influence of alcohol?

Has your wife’s drunken mistake nearly cost you your marriage because you’re struggling to recover from the news of her unfaithfulness?

It’s frustrating because YOU are the one that works all day and puts food on the table, and the moment that your wife gets time alone she has an affair supposedly because she was drinking.

If you’ve been cheated on only one time by your wife, and it was under the influence of alcohol, then my guess is that there’s one resounding question echoing through your mind:

How Do I Know My Wife is Trust Worthy?

After all, she could just be lying about the drinking part. Or if she’s not lying about drinking, she could be lying about exactly HOW drunk she was.

Further more, what if she wasn’t even out with the girls? Many women, when backed into a corner, will lie through their teeth to make an affair seem LESS bad. In her mind she knows that a one-time fling while drunk isn’t nearly as bad a full blown affair, so that’s what she tells you happened.

Before you can do anything else you should make sure that you really and truly believe your wife’s story about alcohol’s involvement in the affair…If she was lying then that could be all that you need to know.

One Beer or Five?

Let me ask you this: Your wife comes to you and confesses that she cheated on you because she was absolutely plastered, but later you learn she’d only had one or two beers to drink before cheating on you…

What do you do?

I mean, obviously she wasn’t PLASTERED after so little alcohol… Do you still forgive her if she was just tipsy instead of full on drunk?

Many women know that the more drunk they say they were the less blame will naturally fall on her shoulders. So it makes sense for her to like about how much she drank. There’s almost no way to find out the truth except take your wife at her word.

My suggestion would be to try and get a hold of one of the people she was drinking with. Perhaps they can confirm what you can’t trust your wife to.

I Can’t Get Over the Fact That She Slept With Another Man

Unfortunately, there’s just no easy way for you to magically forget what your wife did with another guy. This is a sad fact of life; I honestly wish that there were some button I could push to erase your memories or imagination, but I just can’t do it.

Here’s my advice: Only ask what questions you REALLY want the answers to. Avoid asking any questions about the actual act of cheating, at least until you’re more prepared for the answers.

The only real cure in this situation is to hope that your wife will be there for you and do her part to rebuild your trust. You have to hope that your wife is willing to work even harder than you to come back from her unfaithfulness and rebuild your marriage.

Siamese Cats – Do You Really Want One?

Are you ready and able to welcome Siamese cats into your heart and home?

Where should you start?

With personality plus. Siamese cats can be high maintenance, more so than most house cats. Don’t let this put you off, because when it comes to pure breeds, they are no higher maintenance. In fact, they are a lot less trouble than some of the long haired breeds like the Persian cat, which requires brushing and combing every day.

What does ‘high maintenance’ mean? Unlike the Persian cat, Siamese cats have a close short coat and although many like a brush they can look after their own coats. This also applies to the long-haired Siamese, called the Balinese or Javanese – they have an easy to manage longer silky coat.

Where they do require more attention is in the mental and psychological area. Without that attention, they will become unhappy, and an unhappy Siamese cat spells trouble. Picture this: shredded furniture and curtains, territory marking and self harming by pulling out their own fur, just for starters.

How does this affect your decision to buy that most tempting, cute and naughty Siamese kitten bundle?

If you are out of the house for hours on end, plan on either more than one Siamese or make real efforts to keep your cat entertained: that means special toys, treats hidden around the house, or special sleeping places by the window.

When you come home, plan on spending some quality time together. It will allow you to re-bond and your cat will forget your time apart.

Another option is a Balinese or Javanese, which also belong to the family of Siamese cats. Some breeders say that with a Balinese or Javanese, you get the character of a Siamese, but generally a more easy-going nature. If you plan on being at work all day, you might consider the longer-haired Balinese over the standard Siamese.

Take some time to think about what you want from your cat.

If the idea of a cat always hanging around, wanting attention, and mewling loudly with that piercing Siamese voice gets on your nerves even as you read this, then this truly might not be the best choice for you.

Do you have a hectic family life? Do you really have the time, energy and inclination to take care of the emotional needs of your Siamese? Remember, a lonely and ignored Siamese will be anti-social and get on your nerves even more – and that’s a cruel thing.

Finally all cats cost money, vet bills, food and boarding costs soon add up. It would be so sad to end up having to give your cat away because you could not afford to keep it. If your job takes you away all the time having a Siamese is probably not a good idea. Take some time to think this through, before you buy your Siamese cat!

If you still think you can care and provide for this most special and striking of cats, then read on – because Siamese cats are truly different.

Most owners agree that Siamese cats are special. They look different, with their darker paws and faces and blue eyes. And they have such a distinctive voice – even those who don’t love cats can recognize a Siamese.

Siamese cats are on average more clever than most cats, although you can get exceptions.

You will be enchanted with their antics. While elegant in appearance, they can often be quite clumsy. Take care to bolt down all ornaments! Who knows – they may choose to be clumsy just to get your attention. They feel warmer than other cats when you cuddle them, and they love the heat. Those radiator beds are very popular in colder climates. And if you can provide them with the entertainment of a safe outdoor run they will love you for it.

Siamese cats cannot see as well as other cats at night though so watch that they don’t come to any harm. Nor are all Siamese noisy, though some can howl the house down. Make sure you have easy-going neighbors who don’t wonder why you’re torturing your cat!

If you have more than one Siamese you will probably see that unlike the more independent breeds they will love to sleep in a great heap together, another good reason for having more than one. Occasionally, like any other cat, they’ll take a dislike to their house mates and will never sleep close together, but this is rare.

Still fascinated by Siamese cats? Still convinced this is the perfect match for you?

That is good news, because a Siamese is truly a special friend.

A word of caution before you buy though: it’s the same for all breeds, you should choose your kitten carefully. To avoid heartache, do your research properly and buy from a reputable breeder. After all, the last thing you want is a sick or weak kitten.

Still not put off? Then you will be rewarded with a wonderful special relationship this breed is rightly known for.

8 Head Games the Narcissist Plays – Ping-Pong, Anyone?

Narcopath Manipulation Characterized as Games

Narcopaths (malignant narcissists, narcissistic sociopath) are masters at playing mind games. They play to win and take no prisoners. They are sore losers and if they don’t win they will often react in a fit of rage and stomp away like a little child.

I have to say upfront, I am not comfortable calling what a narcopath does to us as games, but I can’t think of a better alternative. I used manipulation characterized as games, but that’s a mouthful. Anyway, every therapist I’ve talked with uses the term, so I will, too. When I think of games, I think of fun, laughter and enjoying myself. Nothing about my experience with the narcopath comes even close, so it’s hard for me to think of the narcopath and games in the same setting. Polar opposites in my mind.

I don’t want to play games with a narcopath anymore. The rules are not written down and change according to her whim. I’ve lost before the game even begins. However, I am not a pacifist by any stretch of the imagination. I won’t walk away when I’ve been challenged very often, so when I urge you not to play the narcopath’s games, it’s not because I don’t like a good challenge. I just want a fair playing field or at the very least be playing by the same rules. The narcopath is too skilled and had far more experience playing these games than we ever will. If we are going to triumph against the narcopath, and we are going to, we have to play by OUR rules, not theirs. Oh, you may win a skirmish here and there, but remember, they don’t think like we think. This article reminds me a story a friend of mine, Dale, told recently. He and his young five-year-old son had a marathon checkers match one evening, and after several hours of winning game after game, Dale told his son he was calling it a night, but his son looked perplexed and exclaimed “But, the game’s not over yet!” Dale said he told him they played about a hundred games already, and what did he mean “the game’s not over?” His son looked at him with the most serious look a five-year-old could muster, and said, “the game’s not over until I win”. This mentality is what we face with the narcopath.

The most important thing you must remember about all these game is that no one can know the rules except the narcopath. Here are some of the more common “games” that narcopaths play:

  1. Ping-Pong: When a person begins to understand how a narcissist works, he or she realizes that it’s a bit like playing ping-pong. Anytime a narcissist has to self-reflect about anything, they will immediately throw the ball back to the person they consider their opponent. Narcissists will always throw the ball back to the other person. They do this in the expectation that they won’t have to take responsibility for their behavior. Narcissists hope that by not taking responsibility for their own actions (by using blaming, shaming, projection, denial, etc.) their partner will do what they have always done-forgive the narcissist, make excuses for the narcissist’s behavior, claim the narcissist couldn’t help himself because he was having a bad day, and so on. The narcissist is a moving target and you are always on the firing line. To get away from them (or expose them), you always have to keep an eye on the ball i.e., their actions and motives for playing their games with you. You have to stop wanting to play. You can stop catching the ball and put it back in the narcissist’s court by setting boundaries and making him aware of his actions. He then realizes he has no one to play with anymore. He will either drop the person like a hot potato, try to punish the person, or run away.
  2. Crazy Eights: This is a favorite game of narcissists. YOU are called crazy anytime you confront them, bring up past issues or behaviors, or expose them when they’re doing something appalling. The game goes like this: he/she tells you that you have an overly active imagination, you don’t know what you’re talking about, they have no idea what you’re talking about, or that you’re simply making things up to cause problems. They’ll tell you that it’s obvious that you are the one who is crazy (and tell you that everyone around you agrees with them about you being crazy). They will claim not to remember even unforgettable events, flatly deny they ever happened, and will never entertain the possibility that they might have forgotten. This is an extremely aggressive and infuriating tactic called “gaslighting”, a common technique used by abusers of all kinds. Your perceptions of reality are continually undermined so that you end up without any confidence in your own intuition, memory, or reasoning.
  3. Liars Poker: Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) play this game fantastically. They lie better than anyone I’ve ever been around. Unless you know them well, they don’t show any of the tells experts look for in exposing deception. My guess is this is how they are able to con so many therapists. I know first hand what that look is on a narcopath. When she was here, the things she didn’t tell us, most with tears in her eyes. I felt so much sympathy for the horrible things that her ex and her parents did to her trying to control her. The stories she told us were outrageous and I bought every one of them, hook, line and sinker. Their persona and their entire world are totally based in lies. Their positive attributes and alleged actions are all made up to trick and seduce others into giving them their fix of narcissistic-supply: praise, adulation and accolades.
  4. Gotcha! The narcopath is a master of phony empathy. He/She appears to take you in, appears to understand what you are experiencing, and appears to genuinely be able to put himself in your shoes. These acts cause you to let your guard down; just when you think there is a genuine give-and-take in your relationship, he pulls a fast one on you-a “gotcha”- most often when you’re at a low point. He will suddenly tell you about his extraordinary new career move, a luxurious trip that he’s taking, or a huge shift in financial status that will make you feel even more diminished. Narcissists perfectly execute an unexpected psychological pounce; their purpose is to grind you down, to humiliate you, and make you feel small and inferior.
  5. Death by a Thousand Cuts: This is a really fun game that all narcissists like to play! Some of your strongest trauma bonds are created with this sadistic game. It involves destroying your soul, your ego, your accomplishments and any belief system you have that does not agree with their beliefs. You both start with empty buckets. The first one to fill his/her bucket wins. They win the game if they are successful at turning everything about you and everything you do into a complete failure. They earn extra points when they successfully take all the credit for everything good that has ever happened in your life, and you thank them. They earn double points when they manage to put all blame for everything bad in your bucket.
  6. King/Queen Game: Either the king narcopath or the queen narcopath gets to make up the rules as they go along; they don’t have to tell the you the new rules, and they change the rules when it suits them. They are the king/queen and, as your superior, entitled to win this game, always. You suffer the consequences for breaking the rules, even those you didn’t know existed.
  7. Cat and Mouse: This is a kind of competitive patience (solitaire) game for two players. It is also known as Spite and Malice. You start this game by arranging the cards from low to high with the Kings/Queens being wild. Suits (the normal order of things and/or common societal rules) are irrelevant in the game. The game ends when someone wins by playing the last card of their “pay-off” pile. The game can also end if the players run out of cards, in which case the result is a draw. Cat and Mouse (or Spite and Malice) is a perfect game for a narcissist because it is actually a form of solitaire, it requires “one-upmanship”, and involves pulling out “better” cards to beat the opponent. It involves a “payoff” and for the narcopath, that usually means hurting you somehow. They keep track of real and imaginary things you do, have done, or might do. This is their “pile” and they will pull a card from it and use it against you when they feel like it.
  8. Guess Who?: This is a pretty simple game, and quite popular. The rules are few. Basically, you must summon all your psychic skills for this game. It is your job to read the narcopath’s sick mind, then decide what kind of mood he/she is in, and respond to her without her saying a word. Your options include, but are not limited to, two-year-old throwing a temper tantrum; Guilt-tripping puppeteer; Poor unappreciated Cinderella; Cock of the Walk; Coy tease; Inquisitor; Keeper of the Gate; add your favorites to the list. If you get it right, then you win the right to change your behavior to mirror his/hers, and your day will be a good one. Get it wrong and you lose. You get to listen to what a loser you are all day long. Either way, they win. OR, you don’t guess at all this time. Instead, you pack up and leave crazy narcopath and win you back.

The only way for the you to win any of the narcopath’s games to not play. If you are in a relationship, you can walk away from the toxic narcissist in your life. If your boss is an abusive narcissist, you can find another job. You can walk away from your parents, too, if they are abusive. If it’s a family member, move away, go no contact or low contact.

Keep Away Game for You: Keep Away is a game the narcopath doesn’t play, but if you must stay in near the narcopath, it’s one you need to master, and the rules of this game are not to respond the any of the narcopath’s attempt to pull you into one of her no-win games. You are not allowed to respond to jabs, barbs, promises, put-downs, etc. It will take focus and determination to break old habits and create new ones. It only takes 21 days of consistent behavior modification to create a new habit. This is not going to be easy, but you’ll get the hang of it pretty quick. Think of it like this: if you’re playing a game of catch, the only way to stop the game is to not catch the ball when someone throws it to you. It’s possible to stop playing games with a narcissist, as long as you mentally prepare for the challenge, and prepare yourself for the onslaught of negativity, accusations and histrionics. Ignore inciting words, don’t respond to inciting words, hang up the phone politely or leave. Take a drive, go for a long walk, anything. Just get away. There are many ways you can refuse to catch the ball and not throw it back. This is the game of “Keep Away”. You stay away, walk away, and refuse to play. This is a game that you, yourself, must learn to play. It is important to recognize that the narcopath will never acknowledge that he/she is now, or has ever played mind games. It’s up to you to stop playing. Don’t try to get them to acknowledge or take responsibility for their words or actions because they will always say they didn’t do it or it never happened or it was your fault.

Metal and Wood Baby Furniture – Pros and Cons

Are you currently looking for baby furniture and want to know the pros and cons of woods and metals? With so many choices out there, doing some research can really help you narrow down what is the best fit for your home. While so many metal and wood baby furnishings are pretty, will they meet all the functions you have in mind for them? Hopefully this article can answer some of those questions for you and give you a clearer picture of what your needs and wants are for your dream baby nursery.

Pro’s of Wood:

* Style options! One of the obvious reason’s wood is a zealous choice is because of so many choices out there for styles and finishes! With crib brands like DaVinci, you can get anything from light natural finish to a dark espresso or black and in-between. Young America furniture from Stanley takes design a step further and has almost any color you can think of like pink, green, blue and purple. In the style section, every design out there is now available for wood baby furniture. Take any theme you have in mind, and you will find wood furnishings to coordinate. Retro, modern, French, classic, traditional and much more!

* Functionality! In today’s baby crib market, you can buy one baby bed and have it last your child’s entire lifetime. DaVinci and Storkcraft brands offer wooden convertible cribs that can transform to up to four different bed sizes. Most of the time there are additional parts you will need, but what a time and money saver to get a bed your baby can use as long as he wants? Not only is that beneficial to the family, but it makes a deep impact on the planet by helping with deforestation.

* More storage selections. Choosing wood will increase your storage options. Armoires, dressers and chests aren’t readily available in metals. DaVinci has a combo changer and dresser in almost any size that you can use as a changing station for the first few years, then you can just take off the changing pad and use this as a full time dresser his whole childhood.

Pro’s of Metal:

* Upscale elegance! No one can deny the fashion statement that an elegant metal crib makes in a nursery. The opulent iron scrolled cribs like Corsican and Little Miss Liberty offer incomparable sophistication. Notably, metal cribs are now offered in several themes and colors. You can get bunny, horses and tea time finials with the post iron cribs that really tie up a nursery theme.

* Durability. Of course a metal crib will be more durable than wood. If you’re looking for a solid and simple crib that can work with a lot of different themes, LA Baby has taken their industrial grade cribs that were once only available to professional places like hospitals and daycares and opened them up for parents. These cribs have stout hardware and concentrate on stamina versus themes.

Con’s of Wood:

* Not as strong as metal. Wood is definitely durable or the majority of furniture wouldn’t be wood, but when comparing it to metal…metal will definitely win out. You always run the risk of scratching paint and finishes more easily with wood. To ensure that wood furniture retains its new appearance you can get furniture markers that match the finish for when touch-ups are needed.

Con’s of Metal:

* Selection. If you have in your mind a very upscale and antique styled nursery, getting a lavish iron crib will really set the scene! But besides antique and classic, you’re going to be hard pressed finding other styles in metal furniture. You will also struggle finding other baby furniture in metal that will match your crib and nursery theme. If you go with the industrial design, you can get lots of colorful pieces you can use for storage, but you won’t find metal baby furniture in categories like armoires and full size dressers. You can pair wood furnishings with a metal crib if you get furniture with coordinated metal knobs.

* Price. These extravagant metal cribs can cost a pretty penny! Their intricate designs and solid frames are costly to make and they only last one stage. Many parents decide on the iron cribs for the heirloom factor and then subsequently buy big kid furnishings and pass the crib down through generations. Metal cribs are generally more of a sentimental investment rather than something you’ll be buying for function and overall versatility.

Final Thoughts

There’s no argument that both metal and wood have their positives and negatives! You have to determine what your wants and needs are and get what will fit best. Metal is a smart choice for pure luxury and heirloom quality or as a contemporary industrial sleep environment with amazing crib functions. Wood on the other hand can be found in designs that are diverse and useful at any stage of your child’s life. They do stand up to use, but will require some minor maintenance through the years. You can find wood baby furniture in any theme, price, style and color for you to create whatever nursery décor you have in mind.

Small Timber Homes – Maximizing Kitchen Space

When building a small timber frame house space can be limited, especially in the kitchen. Most of the floor space is used for the bedrooms and living area. When planning your timber home you should plan a kitchen that combines both entertaining and dining areas into one comfortable room. To attain this goal there are things that you need to consider to maximize your kitchen space and make it into the area you desire.

Assess what are your needs

The first thing to do is consider the ways in which you use your current kitchen. Think about when and how your family cooks, eats, and utilizes the current kitchen. Is it an eat-in kitchen or one that hosts large family dinners? If you are building a timber frame house for retirement, then there will generally be only two people in the house but if you have children, you need to consider space when they visit and if they have a family. If you have a small kitchen in your new timber frame house you will have other places for them to sit and eat.

Design the space

When you design your kitchen, you need to look at your lifestyle and your budget. You could design an open kitchen where it looks out into the living area. To create a personalized kitchen you can consider using timbers that are handcrafted, vaulted ceilings, and specialty woods. Having exposed beams and posts will allow you to distinguish visually separate areas without having intrusive walls.

Counter space

In addition to having counters, you could have a freestanding island where family and friends can sit and eat without being in the way of the food-prep area. According to the National Kitchen and Bath Association if you have a large island they recommend that there be a thirty-nine inch walkway between the cabinets or walls and the counter seating so there is enough space for people to eat without hitting their heads on the wall Egypt cabinets. One configuration that is a popular design is a breakfast bar or island with a taller pub-table-height seating on one side and a food-prep surface on the side in the kitchen.

Dining table

If you have a small kitchen space but want to have a dining table, you could put a long table along one side between the living space and kitchen on one side of the cooking area. If you have figured in the plans a separate dining room, you could have a smaller dining table or a round one that is tucked into an alcove or corner.

After considering these things then it will be time to draw up your plans to build your dream timber frame house.

The Importance of Kitchen Design

Professional and competent kitchen design services are carried out by architects, interior designers, and / or efficient installers. Or, if you are design savvy, you yourself can design the look and layout of your kitchen.

Results of a survey conducted by Kitchen and Bath Business Magazine in 2010 showed that 16% of the people surveyed had already renovated their kitchen in the previous financial year, while 22% understood the importance of kitchen design services and showed interest, but were undecied due to the lack of enough funds.

The Remodeling magazine's Cost vs. Value Report for the year 2011-2012 shows that for middle-range budgets, a major remodeling of a standard 200 sq ft of kitchen space can cost up to $ 57,494; whereas, a minor remodeling would cost up to $ 19,588. For upscale remodelers, the costs could go up to $ 110,938 for a major remodel.

When you decide to invest such an amount of money in your kitchen renovation, the importance of procuring the most appropriate kitchen design services can not be overlooked. Here, invest in kitchen design to make sure that you're getting the most bang for your buck.

Unique space should be assigned to different kinds of utensils, containers and chinaware, in accordance with their usage and order of importance, so that they do not create one big mess. Design your kitchen so that you can avoid bending over, stooping or running into appliances during your day-to-day activities. Drawers and cabinets should not clash with each other or with other equipment like the oven-door when you open them. Also, the design and appearance of the floor, walls, ceiling, countertops, and the cabinetry should go hand-in-glove while suiting your taste and budget. Invest in an efficient designer and a meticulous installer to see astonishing results and a trouble-free time in the kitchen.

Anyone can design a kitchen layout, placing all the appliances, cabinets, and countertops in the right places. However, you may run into some trouble in you are planning to turn two rooms into one kitchen, for example. In such cases, a professional can help you make the most of your space, taking into account your existing windows and walls. In most cases, all you have to do is look for inspiration from online pictures on home and garden sites. The general style of your kitchen is going to be determined by the materials you buy: flooring, cabinets, countertops, and appliances.

What the Bible Says About the Dry Places (Matthew 12:43)

Matthew 12:43 amp

43 But when the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, it roams through dry [arid places] in search of rest, but it does not find any.

The writer Matthew expresses how unclean spirits leave out of a man. He doesn’t mention whether they were cast out or just left on their own for transference purposes. When they left they roamed around awhile. Where did they roam? Dry, arid, waterless or (lifeless) places, that’s where.

What are Dry Places?

The Dictionary/Thesaurus defines dry as waterless, devoid, deficient in moisture, arid, barren, and UN garnished.

Because these two verses and reference definitions were unclear to me, I asked the Lord to give me understanding. Often hearing other believers binding, casting out demons and sending them to the Dry Places I wondered, “What are these places?”

He began teaching me that Dry Places are temporally dwelling places for demon spirits. A Dry Place is any molecular, lifeless (non-breathing) non-living, temporary instrument, object, substance that demons can travel through to get to a permanent host body.

A Solid, liquid or gas can be a Dry Place. Water is wet in the natural sense but a Dry Place in the spiritual sense because it falls under the above description. See Leviticus 11:36, 38 about water becoming unclean.

They are also paper, fabric, wood, metal, cement, plastic, food, and more. Leviticus 11:31-32

These are unclean to you among all that creep; whoever touches them when they are dead shall be unclean until evening. 32 An whatever they may fall when they are dead, whether it is an article of wood or clothing or skin (bottle) or sack,

These are vehicles that Satan and his imps use to get to a host body, human/ or animal. It doesn’t matter whether it is a religious item with markings or symbols. Neither if it’s a pair of white or blue socks thrown in the bottom of the closet. The enemy doesn’t care he just needs a vehicle to get to a body!

Let’s discuss some of these Dry Places.

Paper, books, money

People handle money including people that are contaminated with spirit issues. Through these items, spirits are circulated around the world.

Old used fabrics, sheets, blankets curtains, shoes, and clothing **See Leviticus 15 verses 5-8.

Of my early years being a Christian, the Lord dealt with me about taking clothing from different people. Being a victim of poverty we were very limited with funds to buy new clothes. Family, friends and, church members donated much of what was owned. The old apartment was constantly flooded with bags of used clothing and shoes. Not to seem ungrateful, some of these items were like new, beside from being very nice. In addition to the clothing and the clutter along came the spirits the former owners were struggling with. God told me to “throw them out!”

Why? Spiritual depression had entered into my home through the clothing along with suicide, poverty, fear confusion etc. Satan for many years had used this as a channel to contaminate my home.

Spirits love to attach to clutter especially clothing because of the ability to hide there. Take note washing the clothing will not alone remove spirits they must be blessed and prayed over.

(A positive point)

God’s Spirit or anointing can permeate and bless cloths, aprons, handkerchiefs, oil to heal as well as cast out demons.

Acts 19:11-12 KJV

And God wrought special miracles by the hand of Paul: 12 So that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them.

Wood, plaster, cement,

Furniture

Spirits issue through furniture, sofas, tables, chairs, desks.

Mattresses **See Leviticus 15 verses 5-8

Envision an old used or refurbished mattress brought from a thrift shop. If the original owners suffered for many years with lustful, depression spirits etc. You can just about imagine what the new owners might experience. Let the buy beware!

Staffs, rods and canes

Exodus 7:11-12 KJV

11 Then Pharaoh also called the wise men and the sorcerers: now the magicians of Egypt, they also did in like manner with their enchantments. 12 for they cast down every man his rod and they became serpents: but Aaron’s rod swallowed up their rods.

This may seem extreme but it gives a Biblical demonstration of how spirits can transfer into objects.

**If you would like to learn more about this topic please follow the links at the bottom of the page for further information.

Pros and Cons of Critical Ilness Insurance Coverage

Critical illness insurance is a relatively new type of policy that is frequently misunderstood. Today, we will clarify what it is, and what it covers.

How Does Critical Illness Insurance Work?

Critical illness is similar to term life insurance, except it is paid out when you are diagnosed with an illness covered by the policy, rather than being paid out upon death. However, some people confuse this type of insurance with disability insurance, which substitutes your income if you become disabled.

Illness insurance, like term life insurance, is paid in a lump sum, should you be diagnosed with a pre-defined disease such as cancer. You decide how this amount will be spent – some people put it into additional medical treatment (especially if there are some treatment methods that are not covered by provincial healthcare), others decide to take time off work to spend with family, or to travel.

As with many insurance products, this type of insurance plan comes with an extensive insurance quote, application and underwriting process that the insurer analyzes before you can get a policy; and as with any insurance policy, a critical illness policy comes with both pros and cons.

Let’s take a closer look at the pros and cons of this type of insurance.

Pros of Critical Illness Insurance

There are several positive aspects:

  1. Funds that can help where needed: The lump sum you receive if you are diagnosed with a critical illness will allow you to get better treatment and, hopefully, fully recovery in some cases. You can also spend these funds on other needs or projects (such as travel or taking items off your bucket list).
  2. Protection for your own business: If you have your own business, you might need to work part time, after being diagnosed with a critical illness (reduced work hours are common when extensive medical treatment is required). It closes the financial gap created by your reduced hours at your company. With the funds, you could hire somebody to help out with your business.
  3. Stackable protection: Unlike disability insurance, critical illness coverage is “stackable”. With disability insurance, coverage is limited because it is based on your income, and you cannot go over that limit even if you have several disability policies. You can, though, have several policies with varying coverage amounts of different diseases. If you have, for example, two policies with benefits of $250,000 and $300,000, you can get a $550,000 payout when you make a claim.

Cons of Critical Illness Insurance

  1. Expensive: This type of insurance policy is not cheap. As an example, a Term 10 insurance policy with $500,000 coverage (Term 10 means a policy that covers you for 10 years) for a 35-year old non-smoking male without any pre-conditions costs around $180/ month (exemplary quote) whereas a Term 10 life insurance policy with coverage of $1,000,000 for the same person costs around $50.
  2. Definitions matter: If a diagnosed disease, such as a heart attack, is not aligned with the definition of this illness in the policy, your claim may be not paid.
  3. Does not cover you immediately: Policy typically comes with a waiting period (e.g. 90 days) during which you are not covered.
  4. Payout is not immediate: If you are diagnosed with a critical illness, there is “survival period” – (e.g. 30 days). If you die within that period, your claim will be not paid.

Summary

Critical illness insurance provides solid coverage for being unexpectedly diagnosed with a serious disease, but this coverage comes at a cost. It’s a good idea to work with an insurance broker to get a critical illness insurance quote and to apply for a policy. Brokers have access to multiple insurance companies and will help you navigate through the complex application process, especially if you have medical pre-conditions.

Body Building – Is Your Workout Routine Hurting Your Health?

It is common for people to think that they will become buff immediately when they build their muscles. Well, unfortunately it's just not that easy. Working out requires a great deal of patience and determination.

The unfortunate thing is that those same people are willing to risk their health to become fit. They will spend huge amounts of money to dissolve the extra fat they have on their body miraculously in just days. Why will not they just learn how to work on their muscles instead of doing a risky step like that?

Bulking up is fairly easy. And starting that task is effortless. All you need to do is to begin with regular exercises, like jogging around a park and running on the treadmill.

After getting used to those exercises, begin with basic workouts. You can do crunches, dips, lunges, pull-ups, and push-ups. You have no excuse to do that since you can do it at home anytime you want.

The next step when learning body building is to be consistent. This is where many people fail. And unfortunately, body building will be impossible for you once you fail on this part.

However, if you could get past that step, it is now the time for you to get serious. You can buy body building DVDs, and watch them. You must do that to learn how to workout more effectively and how you can burn the evil fat within you further.

On the other hand, you can visit the nearest gym in your neighborhood. After that, you must register as a member. Then, look for an instructor who will guide you on how to advance your workout.

Subsequently, you must research about dietary supplements you can consume to make your muscles grow faster. But before you do that, you must visit your doctor or dietician first. Ask them if the dietary supplements that you will consume may initiate allergic reactions in your body.

As a bonus, you could try to enroll in self-defense classes. Self-defense classes can provide your body more flexibility, stamina, and strength. And of course, you will know how to defend yourself, and how to use your strength to your advantage when dealing with people who may try to harm you.

That is how simple body building can be. As long as you have the patience and determination, you can rest assured that learning how to do body building your muscles will benefit you a lot. So as early as now, start giving your body the exercise it needs.

I've prepared some powerful body building and fitness secrets for you below, enjoy!