The Watchful Observer

Facts are facts, right? We’ve been told from a young age that when something is a proven fact it’s without a doubt 100% true. But how do we in fact know this? Facts are not always true, just like our minds are not really who we are. When we are consciously aware of thoughts and feelings that come through us daily, it allows us to differentiate between what is false and what our true authentic state is. If we can learn to think of ourselves as merely a witness to our thoughts it can free us from the pressure of what our mind is constantly forcing down our throats to think. It unlocks us from the mental prison we’ve been enslaved in by the ever-present false reality of our thoughts.

Who we truly are lies deep within us and by becoming a watchful observer of our own minds, we can start to notice when menacing thoughts arise that we can just be a witness and observe them instead of beating ourselves up over thinking certain things. We have as part of our mind this little aspect called the ego. Now this little fella can either work with you or against you, if you so choose. I constantly fought my ego every step of the way and don’t you know every time I came out waving the white flag. I learned that there is no use in fighting this battle, lay your sword down and make peace with your ego and realize it’s always going to be your constant companion forever so why not learn to coincide peacefully together.

Your ego is set up to protect you from harm so it feeds you information that isn’t real to keep you safe, even if what it’s telling you is painful or uncomfortable. It’s programmed to do this to keep you at a certain level of comfort so you feel powerless without it. Haven’t we all felt this way? Our mind will talk us out of things because it can’t fathom the thought of actually being courageous and taking that much-needed step into the unknown. Notice when you start to break free or do things out of your comfort zone to better yourself, the ego is right there to stop you because it tries to keep you in fear so you’ll stay comfortable and never take that leap you’ve been wanting to take for so long.

So, what happens when we start to believe these fake stories? They’ve now become imbedded into our subconscious mind and we begin to accept them as true and live our life accordingly. We’ve been talked into living mediocre lives because living in greatness may in fact kill us. Ya right! How do we break free from this false sense of reality and know what we are thinking is true? This in part is where the problem lies, it is not within our own thinking but is beyond anything we can logically rationalize. Step out of your thinking, watch, notice and observe and we can begin to find the answers and live in our truth.

I’ve known for some time that my mind is conditioned to be fear based. When a situation happens that I perceive is either hurtful or painful my mind goes to work on creating the worst-case scenario, sound familiar? If you’re like me when something “bad” happens you immediately go on the defense and start ripping someone or the apparent situation to shreds, along with some choice curse words. I found myself doing this over and over whenever things didn’t go my way or the shit hit the fan, so to speak. I spiraled into depression sometimes for days, weeks or months wallowing in woe is me nonsense. I would constantly struggle with; how do I make it stop? It wasn’t until years later that I was finally opened to the idea of just observing these feelings and realizing that the hurt, anger, frustration or whatever made me feel awful, wasn’t in fact me or my true state of being. When I really started to understand this concept, and know that these feelings were just passing through me and were not going to set up residence, I felt like I had been let out of prison. Years and years of beating myself up and living in this awful state of feeling like I was two different people, suddenly just went away. It was like I had been reborn and the veil was taken off. I now know immediately when these thoughts and feelings show up that I watch, notice and observe that they are in fact not mine but are here to teach me a lesson and move on.

I also know that in order to help these thoughts and feelings on their way I have to fully feel them and go through the emotional rollercoaster and give them love and attention to release them. I sit with them and notice and write down how they make me feel and what I can do to understand them. It takes a lot of work to consciously do this and is a constant struggle in the beginning when you’re learning to shift out of an old mindset, but what I keep hammering home is, I am not my mind or my thoughts but just the watchful observer over them. My true, authentic self is now and always will be love. I continuously remind myself to revert to love in every situation as that is the key to unlocking the pain we feel during hard times. Always be cognizant that love is ever-present in every situation if you choose to know and feel it deep within you. Sometimes your greatest pain is your biggest teacher and blessing and will set you up for your best days ahead.