You know straight off the mark most women I speak with say without a second thought swallowing fluid during oral sex with their partner. It leaves them cold. Then there is the gagging. Yet like anything communication is the key. You can not expect your partner to be so tuned in to you during such a pleasurable act that they remember to have your best interest registering on their dial.
Seriously most men never intend to put you off, or choke you, so let them know if he thrusts too much, it makes you gag. Mostly a little thrusting is OK, but being over ambitious isn’t. Also there are clever pointers that lessen the gagging. Try using your mouth and tongue more on the area just on the underside of the head of the penis. Very easy if your partner is lying on his back and you are on top. Unless he is looking, he probably won’t know. Always use your hands to slide up and down the shaft of the penis at the same time. It is also smart to let any saliva dribble down a lovers penis as it helps with lubrication. Flicking, licking, sucking makes it a hot experience for your lover. Talking about hot and cold – try sucking on ice cubes or drinking hot chocolate before giving oral sex.
There are women who receive oral sex and know it is hot. For others it leaves them cold. But you know whatever it is that rocks your boat; as long as it FEELS good, go for it. Getting right into oral sex, some women start bucking with pleasure and can almost knock their partner’s teeth up into the eye sockets. So guys, wrap those arms right around those thighs so that you can control what is happening. Grinding your way into your lover’s mouth may mean feeling a few sharp edges, yet as blissful sensations carry one into another realm you may not really notice.
Another hot and cold topic – anal sensations. This is often repulsive for some, then again with the anus having as many if not more nerve endings as the clitoris, then maybe this view needs to be revisited. Anal play can be enjoyable. Whether using a finger, a pleasure object or a penis, lots of lubricant is a must. Some men enjoy having their anus massaged, whilst other sexual activity is taking place at the same time. If your finger is inserted and you press their prostate gland, chances are they will experience a mind blowing orgasm. Females may like their anus stimulated whilst receiving oral sex. The finger does not have to be too far up, usually just past the sphincter muscle does it. The key issue is to be gentle and slow, especially with penetration. The resulting feelings can be very intense and pleasurable.
Foreplay – is hot! What leaves a women cold is some stud trying to ram his penis into a vagina that has not had a chance to become oiled and lubed either naturally or with a bit of help. There is nothing wrong with a rampant quickie from time to time, but even then it helps when both parties to be hot and ready. The occasions where a quick flick is supposed to have a female ready to receive penetration are indeed chilling. It is best when the caressing continues until the female initiates the entering into the vagina. Patience is always more likely to pay off.
It is probably dangerous to generalise about how any of us experience sex. We are all different and bring different perspectives into the equation. Making assumptions and generalisations only ever describe how it is for some of us.
Some like it hot and some like it cold. Each to their own.
©copyright 2007 – Marie-Elise Allen