Why Self-Esteem Rules
Do brains really shrink because of how we feel about ourselves?
Professor Sonia Lupien at McGill Medical School is a leading
authority on the effect of stress on the brain. Her team has followed
92 people for about 15 years; they include negative self-esteem
can produce up to a 20% brain shrinkage. Weird.
Dr. William James, Harvard, 1890, said self-esteem is the subjective
(personal) appraisal of your own qualities. Three areas are involved:
a) beliefs – I am / am not a super-competent person and some
people acknowledge it.
b) emotions – I feel pride / shame in how I experience my life.
c) behaviors – I act / hold-back because of my confidence / caution.
How do you define this abstraction – esteem?
A good synonym is self-worth; respect, honor and prize.
Dr. Lupien and her team offer evidence high levels of the stress hormone,
cortisol, are connected to memory loss and atrophy (wasting away) of the hippocampus. Testing folks with Alzheimer disease indicated degeneration of
their hippocampus causing massive memory loss.
Have you ever left a meeting and thought, He / she runs the organization like a
Napoleon. The CEO sails orders under the door, and no one questions what
Egypt how. They just run to fulfill. He / she would make God blush.
Where does their self-esteem come from? Is it real or phony? Does it matter it
the desired results prevail?
Have you encountered folks who take every rejection personally, instead of as
a reaction to the offer or proposal? Many successful people believe there is no
failure, merely feedback to produce better future results.
Another question is whether self-deception, seeing the bottle half-full instead of
half-empty, is a form of self-esteem. Less than ordinary folks often consider themselves above-average in looks, intelligence and ability, regardless of the evidence.
Alter Your Perception
Some experts believe you can change your past and how it affects
your present life, by altering your perception (understanding, thinking) of what occurred, and its present meaning.
Get this: act as-if a past failure never happened. It is a matter of holding too tightly
to your old evaluation of what the past event means today. You new interpretation can be you learned a super lesson, one you need to discover to move up the ladder.
When you have powerful self-esteem, and you really blow it, those personalities quickly forgive yourself. Sure, you evaluate the causes and resolve to remember your mistakes. The question is how long to linger on beating yourself up to no avail.
When you quickly move-on after a divorce, bankruptcy, or foreclosure, it changes
the attitudes and actions of others around you. If you show there is life after your disaster, others have permission to treat the past as ended.
The ancient Greeks, (the Romans changed the names), believed in the Three-Sisters of Fate. The first was Clotho, she spun the thread of life when you were born.
Second was Lachesis, the Goddess who measured the thread of your life. She decided how much time for life was allowed you. It was measured with her rod.
Finally, Atropos, the Goddess sister who cut your thread of life. She chose the mechanism of your death, and cut your thread with her 'abhorred shears'.
Nobody asked you if you wanted to be born, when or where. And you will not
be consulted about its termination. You are responsible for your behaviors while
you live. Those who are fatalists are quick to forgive themselves and continue
to enjoy their time here and disregard what is required.
Meaning and purpose is for the philosophers. We are hardwired to seek pleasure
and avoid pain. If you choose to exercise your gifts and talents, you may influence
the lives of others for the better. Move-on.
How about these three characteristics for positive life experiences?
a) Worthiness, b) Protection, c) Lovable.
We are back to self-worth (esteem), you must believe you deserve to
succeed, and your work will prove you right. Protection means from early
childhood you feel immune to threats from your environment. Mothers
often provide unconventional love, the ultimate form of protection and
proof of lovability.
Is there anything to say about being lovable? If you believe you have
charisma, other opinions do not count. Lovable is in the eyes of the
beholder, even Frankenstein had his admirers. See Mary Shelly.
You really do change how you experience the past by your choice of
mental-movies. Positive-visualizations, cartoons, anything
but negative imagery, produces a new interpretation.
Imagine yourself as a budding genius and notice how your new attitude
alters your mood, emotions and behaviors.
Would it help your career and sense of self-worth to tripling your
reading skills, and double your memory? Call us.
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