There’s no question that no matter what the circumstances are, an affair is devastating. But, it is even worse when the husband can not seem to tear himself away from the other woman or leave her alone. Very often women contact me and ask “how can I get my husband to leave his girlfriend,” or “how can I get him away from her when he can’t seem to leave her alone.” Often, wives who want to lure their cheating husbands back resort to manipulative tactics meant to make their husbands feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous, but this often only reads as desperation and paints you in a more negative light. Men do not often have the moral radar or sense of responsibility that women have, so the tactics which would work for you or I may not work at all on your husband. In this article, I’ll tell you what I believe is the best way to both get your husband to leave the other women while maintaining your self respect.
Understand That You Probably Can’t Reason With Your Cheating Husband: Many women request that I give them tips meant to “make my husband understand what the affair is doing to me,” or “make him see how much the affair is hurting me.” What they don’t understand is that men aren’t rational thinkers, especially when they are in the midst of affair. As hard as it is to hear, it’s very unlikely that your husband is going to hear what you are saying and respond with, “you know, you’re right. Let me stop this right now.” It’s not fair, but it is the way it is.
You are likely not going to be able to change your husband’s thought process right now. And, you need to understand that it is highly likely that he is having the affair to replace something that is missing within himself. Notice that I said himself. Please understand that the flaw is within him, not within you. Men cheat because they want to feel desirable, young, alive, competent, and vibrant. And overwhelmingly, this is an emotional need rather than a physical one, despite the common perception.
Know That The Other Woman Can’t Keep Up The Facade Forever: If you take nothing else from this article, please take this. The appeal of the other woman often lies in how she makes your husband feel about himself. It’s not about how she looks or her age. It all lies in how she presents the whole low maintenance package. She often does this by taking a light hearted, no strings attached approach. She doesn’t make demands. Everything is cool with her. She’s completely laid back and doesn’t require much. But, you and I both know that no woman can keep this up forever. She’s like every woman who puts her best self forward for the first date, but a short time later he’ll be seeing her in knee socks and an old tee shirt and he’s going to wonder why in the world he risked everything for this. She’s going to start wanting to know where he is or demand more from him and suddenly what was so alluring about this relationship is will be gone in an instant. A recent survey indicated that almost 90% of men are incredibly sorry about their affair, so understand that the odds are overwhelming that your husband will come to regret this woman.
The key for you is to know this and to bide your time with dignity and respect. Because if you act in a way that is beneath you or is unattractive, then they will both looking at you like the poor wife who got the bum deal. And, unfortunately, this is not an attractive picture and you’re at a distinct disadvantage when this happens.
Turning The Tables: As hard as it may feel at first, you must take care of yourself outside of this whole affair business. If your husband is acting like a complete idiot, that’s really his problem, not yours. Put him on the back burner until he realizes his ridiculous mistake and comes crawling back. Focus on yourself. See your friends. Do what you have always wanted to do. Get yourself a new wardrobe or hairstyle. Do not wait around on him and make sure he knows this. But, don’t add another wrong to the situation and cheat yourself. This is just going to make things worse and make you more confused.
What you are really trying to accomplish is a scenario that plays out just as your husband comes to his senses. And when he glances your way, he sees a confident, graceful, self respecting, attractive woman who is honestly too good for him right now. Whether she decides to take him back or not is entirely up to her. But, she’s not going to belittle herself by chasing after him or rewarding his unfortunate behavior. Instead, she’s going to allow him to catch her, if she chooses to do so.